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Showing posts from 2011

Are they all yours?

Our first mothers day I remember the sermon in Church, actually when we were living in Linden Hills, was about forms of motherhood. We had decided to adopt before having a biological child, but I was feeling unsure about how to explain our choice. Sheff and I remember the message of acceptance. The message that all children are meant for a family, that God's plans are bigger than our own if we had the courage to trust in a greater plan. That children can be born of our hearts and born of our bodies and be loved and embraced equally. When someone asks incredulously, if they are in fact all ours, I know there are a plethora of questions behind the words. To me it is a chance to affirm all the children. To be proud in the declaration of family, to be territorial of my own, to teach them how our claim is as powerful a force as nature. Sheff often uses it for a chance of levity, humor. I love us as a team because his "Do you have another one for us? We sure love kids." Is

Christmas 2011, Sweet Gratitude

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new slippers! Mom & Dad attempt a photo..together! Thanks James:) New scooter, new slippers the poise is all her:) Dino Box, a mommy Christmas creation that was a huge hit. Boys hard at work putting together Uncle Ty's Race Course. NBA Wii games, Legos and yo-yos were also hits for the big boys So mom REALLY liked her new Ugg slippers from Dad boxing gloves (yes a theme going here) and American Girl Doll Dog. Everyone showed gratitude and joy, although gifts are not the reason of the season, a lot can be learned with the giving and receiving of gifts. For children to be enthusiastic, sweet and genuine in gratitude brings great joy to the gift giver. Not every expectation was met, but in a quiet and loving way to remind the recipient that we need to be thankful for what we receive and enjoy the day with loved one is a valuable piece of this blessed holiday. Lucy entertained by all the flying wrapping paper! This year for grandparent

Our Book of Memories

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Our Christmas Memories Book Since 2002 we have kept a Christmas Memories book. Each year has room for notes, pictures and recipes from the year. In 2002 We had adopted James, and were pregnant with Mickey. We were in a tiny house in St Paul near Nativity. We had worked so hard making that house ready. We had purchased as is. I cleaned the fridge, scraped jello off shelves and helped Sheff strip wallpaper on every surface. By Christmas time we were so ready to enjoy some down time. Not that James at 3 believed in down time. We figured out how to use fishing line to attach the tree to the ceiling so his tackling attempts remained unfruitful. One of the entries "I hope some day our Christmases are filled to the brim with children.." The entry from the year Mark was our Holiday gift 2005 Almost 10 years later the house is filled with Children, a new house that we stripped of wallpaper:) James is not tackling the tree, he is tackling his brothers. I made 32 cinnamon rolls

All I want for Christmas..Is my van back!

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We miss you huge van,  get fixed soon! Well our Van seems to be broken. Things that are broken can be fixed, and my unflappable husband did all the right things and has gotten it to GMC dealer to get fixed up. BUT my van is broken and I feel vulnerable with out regular transport. Sheff left me his truck for part of the day so I can run and stock up on groceries and get ingredients for hosting Christmas. But I can't drive 8 kids in a truck, even a big truck! Yesterday I was having a hard time. Thankfully good friends picked up my eldest, stopped by with cookies and forwarded me a beautiful song by Amy Grant. Having a worry in my life reminded me how rarely I am given an opportunity to show our kids how to deal with fear and stress on a real level. I could take the low road and say "Why me! and this stinks!" or I could rise above. Yesterday I did a bit of the self pity and felt overwhelmed. It is really hard to ask for help. This stress is reminded me how essential

Staying Peaceful Amidst the Rush

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As we enter into the rush before Christmas I am reminded how hard it is to maintain a feeling of peace. This is the time gifts are going to be discovered if not wrapped, everyone will bring Christmas cookies if you don't get the Christmas meal assignments out and those homemade gifts you purchased paint sealer for and about to get smeared. Avoiding the Mall, making Christmas Cookies! Today when I ran out to return a birthday gift that my 8 year informed me would be a wii duplicate for his buddy, I was amazed by the frantic feeling in the store. The desperate phone calls about color and type of gloves, the lamenting of lost coupons and confusion over type of Legos on the list. Its like we need a broken record playing along with Bing Crosby reminding people to take a breath and remember the meaning this time of year. Every faith back round has that need to connect, a need to honor loved ones and a desire to reaffirm a sense of meaning. I noticed one of the boys was seemin

Honoring the sadness in the season of light

Tonight the kids had their school Christmas concert and they did a wonderful job. After the concert children ran every which way finding family, racing off with friends and bee lining for the cookies. I saw a little guy crying, lost. He was a student I knew from volunteering and we made our way through the crowds to find a teacher who knew his mom. But as he held on to my hand and his eyes were so full of tears it reminded me of the moments of fear and sadness that can be present in times of celebration.  Recently a dear neighbor of ours passed away. She was such a warm presence for us, she bought baby booties for each of the girls born at this house. As the children and I made cookies and wrote a card, we talked about how her husband must be feeling. They really wanted to know what could they do? I advised we needed to show kindness, offer to help and to pray for Grace in times we are confused about the purpose of loss. This is a time of year for such joy. A time of year for th

Making time to work out together

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From Mark's scrap book, after Daddy's first triathalon he did for his 30th birthday. My workout was wrangeling 6 under six while he did his thing:) Sheff and I are going to start working out agian. We is the key here. Sheff often gets in good grooves with his man cave of weights but timing it so we are both getting in shape at the same time proves difficult as I am usually pregnant or nursing. Whilst nursing I enjoy things like hamburger cheese hot dish and whole milk. If Sheff asks if I want to work out I take it as a personal affront, my lip gets all wobbly and I ask if I am too "hearty". This is our joke because he, being a bit socially moronic, decided in our courtship to call me hearty. We had just ran trails North of Duluth, in Encampment Forest and had stripped down to dive headlong into Lake Superior. It was a compliment, we think now he was going for tough or amazing, but out came hearty and so we had a stomping march back to the family cabin. Our f

Out the door without stress!

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As I go to sleep at night I often design mud rooms in my mind. Sometimes these mud rooms come with built in maids who are also stellar Math tutors, but I digress. I do want a mud room, and having a contractor as a husband one would imagine at some point I will get one. On the optimistic side the lack of entry way space does teach stuff management skills. I am guessing that is not a correct term, but it is a thing! Being able to organize, keep track of and locate an assignment, a toy or a library book is a real life time skill. Having 10 people share a small entry way creates the need for "stuff management". The more organized any area of our lives are, the less stress seems to happen in that area. For example, we have shoe cubbies in our entry way closet. Each of the 8 has a spot. Shoes, a basketball, a favorite hat go into the cubby. We then have a container for shared hats, gloves and mittens. When kids come in the door they line backpacks up under coat hooks, put home

Flying Through the Air with the Greatest of Ease

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Many ducks to be kept in a row! The Holiday season seemed to go off with a bang, like being shot out of a cannon. Flying through the air at mock 10 trying to get projects done, collect for classroom parent and Catholic Charities family, juggle 4 boys playing basketball, decorating the tree and attempting to fill the house with cheer. Actually, it has been wonderful! Busy yes, but I am grateful to be able to work hard, to help when and where I can and to treat the Holiday season as a chance to get a little better at efficiency. That said the blaring concern for me is making time for prayer. Making time for deep breaths and showing the children how powerful humility and grace can be in the midst of busy life. Seeing kids win and loose games, getting C and A+ work often happens at exactly the same time. I need to modulate my response, my encouragement, my firm resolve for trying harder and my praise for a job well done. In church this week we talked about St Andrew being known

Lucy's First Tree

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Christmas tree decorating is all about seeing the ornaments the kids have made over the years. Like many families the canvas handprints, felt stocking photo frames and Kindergarten projects are the most treasured adornments on our tree. I have a box in the basement that reads "Very Fragile! Ornaments to use when youngest is 6!" Not sure when that box will be dusted off:) The kids know that our hope is to present each of them with a box of Christmas Ornaments for a wedding gift (Or other life commitment!) that have been made and collected over the years. This year we painted ornaments and I made Lucy's first Christmas spangle. A tiny pink baby carriage. L's first Christmas! Our tree of handmade ornaments

Cooked Birds and Thanks!

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Happy Thanksgiving! Wishing everyone a wonderful day full of good eats, laughter and family. Markie is not so sure about the whole Turkey thing. "Are you sure we need to say thank you and eat a dead cooked bird at the same time?" We will see how that goes over. Lots of love from our house to yours!

Date Night

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The W Hotel is certainly glam and Manny's has beef. We went to a dinner in honor of my Dad and we had a babysitter on a school night, unheard of! I recently read a wonderful book by Melissa Faye Greene , No Biking In The House Without a Helmet.  Greene has a story of getting ready for a holiday party that touched home. The rituals children get to share when mom and dad get ready to go out. For the Greene's Dad had cuff links, for us Dad has to trip over 101 Polly Pockets in order to dig out a dress shirt from the little girl's closet. His pants that had been spot cleaned with a baby wipe and were hanging in the shower were soaked inevitably by some basketball player decided to shower. My steam system now requires a toss in the dryer where John left a piece of bread in his sweatshirt. The pants in question are now out of the question and another trip past the world of Polly is required. For the Greene's mom has her mothers pearls, for us mom debates if she can actu

Duggars did not consult us on number 20

I am surprised, although I shouldn't be, that the Duggars having number 20 has set up camp in conversations I have had in the past week. My take on the Duggars is that they could benefit from a NFP class, or ecological breast feeding  but that they are a self sustaining brood who have some great ideas. Awesome recipe for Tater Tot Casserole. That said we are not hoping to make it past nine, I think we both were excited and surprised along the way to put it mildly, but adore our big brood. Interestingly, having a large family has pushed us into a minority position. Comments, being ridiculed, being yelled at in front of the children "Stop over populating the earth!" It has made us a stronger family and honestly more tolerant of difference. Usually the comments now are kind and I am so grateful about that. We receive much praise and admiration for our large family. Yes each of those kind comments after church does in fact make our day:) And now that the kids are starting t

Sports

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Sheff using a child for resistance training, an entry into the world of sports. Sports. I have entered the world of youth sports head on, rather like being catapulted into it. I really have no knowledge of sports. I love dancing, walking, even running. Understanding the rules of sports is where I am hopeless. I refer to a goal in basketball and a touchdown in soccer. I encourage the boys to pass down court when we are on a field and to shoot when they have a football. Hopefully they love me and my snacks enough to forgive such transgressions. Sheff loves sports. I was not aware of just how much until we had kids. He really, really enjoys throwing and catching things. We have 4 playing basketball this season, with Sheff coaching or assistant coaching 3 of the players, and will have 6 playing next basketball season. Football was blissfully light with only 3 in gear. Baseball is our highest level of participation. So far Daisy dances, I am better at this lingo. I should probably get a

Adoption, biology & respect

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2004 Being an adoptive parent as well as a biological parent is an interesting balance. I'd say the best gift adoption has given me is the commitment to see each of our children as unique individuals. For example, one of my adoptive children is flat out awesome at Math. I take no credit for that so I really shouldn't take credit for one of my bio kids abilities artistically. Being open and excited about each child apart from my own or Sheff's abilities allows them to create themselves with out judgment. We have very high expectations for each of our children, morally, academically and athletically. Our expectations are not based on any preconceived notion of ability or genetics. We spent a lot of time traveling when I was growing up and I would buy parenting magazines from around the world. Italy, France, Spain, Cambodia and Mexico all have different top 10 names, different baby foods. It created a global sense of family in me and a desire for adoption. As a mother n

I love Mondays

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A few years before I took on Mondays with zeal In fourth grade we had a camping trip, all you Waldorf kids remember these, they were fun and a bit haphazard:) I remember we had these Garfield Dixie cups and there was a cartoon about Monday. It was along the lines of terrible, horrible, nothing good occurs on a Monday. In my tiny feisty Deirdre self I remember thinking "Well then! I am going to make Monday my very favorite day!" And ever since I have been a practiced fan of the start of a new week. At my wedding one of my closest friends gave a speech that spoke to the fact I am never very complacent when something is amiss. If I am late taking a route to work I will google the heck out that route and find a better way, if I gain weight I will read books on healthy eating from around the globe to get motivated, if my brain felt dull I would rent foreign language tapes to at least be able to have a taxi cab conversation. I can say "How many kids do you have and what

Cozy Moments

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M 2, N 3, D 1 :) Sweet Jammies Today was a good day. There are so many connections out there, people who know the kids or Sheff, or I have met once here and there. I am amazed by how much goodness is out there, the kind words in passing the hugs. This world is a good place, even on the hard days. It really is. Babies born, connections made, deals wrangled, diapers washed, scrapes kissed and prayers answered. There are hard days too, of course those I attest to openly and honestly but I am filled with gratitude for how far and few between they fall. Here are some photos that make me feel cozy, family highlight moments. Would love to hear other's family highlights sometime, even if it is in passing:) Little J, 2 years old with his uncle Group naps are the best, Daisy was Lucy's age now:)

Hard Days Night

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It is difficult to recover from a night where I feel like I just couldn't stay on top of everyone's needs. I remember being criticized for having a big family early on, being told I would never be able to keep up with all the homework and activities. I agree with the naysayer! Its true some nights just don't work. Sheff is coaching two teams this season and we are adjusting. He took the wrong vehicle and I couldn't get one to cub scouts. It stunk. Another has a math concept he just can't get. Two hours later I am seeing clocks in every portion of my brain. I managed to make a family favorite Tater Tot casserole and Pumpkin pie. I wish I could bake math problems and teach someone to fly to activities. Sigh. Usually I seem to hold things together. A bit of a vent. I have a prayer journal I picked up before we were married that has notes through the years. I would flip open the journal, read the prayer and jot down what was going on. Now looking back over the last 11

Markie Quotes

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Markie Quotes "Mom I am turning into a Lion. I knew it would happen. See? I have blond hair on my ears. I know it is small but it will get bigger and then I think I might get my claws." I was at school to volunteer and saw a green thing streak down the Hallway "Hey mom! I am the Hulk!" "Oh my! Are you supposed to be green?" I see the principle come out of the office to walk him to the bathroom to clean up. I duck sheepishly into another room, Mark winks at me as he walks by. The principle is very patiently explaining that painting oneself green is not, in fact, part of the uniform policy. The kids get number at school if they have not been listening. He came home last week with a number. I asked what he did. "I was kissing apples" He responded. I look confused so he helps me out, "They were not REAL apples". Huh. Getting into the bath "I love hot baths because I am hot stuff." He then does a little dance and pret

Overstuffed Chicken feeds the Great Pumpkin

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Lucy is overstuffed, her nose that is not by the copious amounts of brightly packaged candy that she had fun kicking last night. The kids made a good haul. They had fun with costumes, oodles of coloring pages and finding Library books that were scary enough to warrant digging out an old nightlight. So on to All Saints Day today, Lucy has her first fever, it stinks and Mom is sleep deprived. Still the GREAT PUMPKIN still made it to our abode and ate all the candy. Well almost al the candy. The Great Pumpkin ate a whole stock pot of candy and the children each received a gift. We love this tradition. Hope everyone created some new memories & had a yummy treat to boot. Wish tidings of sleep for this mama pumpkin:) Mickey's note to the Great Pumpkin and all the gifts left. The kids all ate their fill before leaving candy for the Great Pumpkin to come eat. We save a bit for treats and baking the other 75% is donated to food shelf. Our Bumble Bee Princess

Mom why don't we have any food!

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Mickey to me: Mom we don't have any food, WHY don't we have any food? Mom: Mick we have food Mickey: We don't have FOOD food, only like the parts that make food Mom: Mick you guys EAT all the food, you know... A gleam enters my eye, Mickey backs up calling for reinforcements Mickey: Ah, guys Mom looks weird. GUYS! Mom is coming up with a project, or a job or SOMETHING Mom: You guys should really learn how to cook! So when you are hungry you say Viola! I can cook! John: Viola? Like we are Spanish James: No numbskull French, Mom seriously I can't cook with him! Mom: Ah, ha! But you WILL cook! James hedging a bit now realizing he agreed to cook puts Mark squarely in front of him self and responds "Mark can't cook! He'd hurt himself. He is really small" Mark: I am not small! I am huge like a Tiger. Mark roars ferociously, Lucy claps from one rug away where Daisy is playing Barbies. Lucy goes back to eating the barbies hair and coughing intermed

Pepito over Diego any day

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I just found my now very cold coffee precariously balanced on a stack of Dora and Madeline books. Those two types really shouldn't be stacked together. The Dora books I detest reading, the Madeline I love to read. But that is the stack of motherhood, the parts I adore, rhythm, rhyme, beauty, fun and the parts I detest, too bright primary colors, false cheerfulness, materialism and the whining. OK so those don't ALL encapsulate poor Dora but still she is just too glossy and her head is just so big. My coffee is cold but I can brew a new pot. My list of to does makes me feel a little fuzzy around the productive edges and my baby just figured out steps. Back to that brew a new pot, off to do that and tackle the day. Hope you have a bit more Madeline than Dora today:) A cozy photo I love

Do we have one named Danny?

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Moments this week.... At dinner this week as we were doing our highlights and low lights, James excitedly shared the latest news from 5th grade drama. "It was crazy guys, Danny* got sent to the principles office 4 times in one day!" Everyone is properly aghast until Sheff chimes in, "well why the heck did he do that? Doesn't he know he needs to represent the family? Set a good example for younger ones? Show self control in the classroom" We are all watching him perplexed.  A slightly uncomfortable silence. Sheff clears in throat, "huh, we don't have one named Danny do we?" We all shake our heads smiles forming. James responds blithely "Dad, I will be sure to tell Dan he needs to represent our family from now on". Sheff chagrinned laughs. As many know Mark cut his hair last week. To my credit it was not on my watch he came home from school with a lightning bolt cut directly front and center. We buzzed him, he was upset. The cool, odd

Cooking for Spite

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Daisy often helps me with cooking when the bigs are at school. Today as we were making bread dough for pizza she asked me "Do you know why I love to help you cook mom?" I smiled and drifted away to thoughts of her valedictorian speech in college, things about her loving mother and the smells that make up childhood. She brought me back to the task at hand with "Because of the HA!" I looked at her perplexed "The Ha?" I asked. She nodded sagely handing Lucy back her raw cucumber we use for teething biscuits and replied "Yes the Ha! Like I was a big green guy with Daddy muscles and jump them and say Ha! I can make food and you were at school and YOU can't make food, HA!" My fantasies are dwindling down and I remember I ought to pick up that book on sibling rivalry I recently put on hold at the library. I ask with trepidation "So, big green guy, like the hulk? And Ha, as in Ha Ha?" She nods pushing tiny fists purposefully into the doug

Our baby is better than a bike!

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I am cute, adorable, lively and sweet. Really I am, even at 2 am I still get cuddles. When anyone has a hard day I give a smile, pat a back, gurgle. I do seem to eat all things, especially paper but we are working on it. I clap my hands and pee in diapers you can wash right in your washing machine. My folks haven't actually been in a Toys R Us but I think I am way better than anything you can find to entertain kids. I can even take a bath in the sink, see? This was motivated by my big brother saying "we have the best baby ever, I think she is better than my bike!" Yes I trump 2 wheelers too.
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This is my image for today. As I run around navigating preschool, cafeteria duty, football practice, adoption advocacy paperwork and the daily chores of life this image is a burst of breath. I tell my kids that stress is simply energy if used correctly. Let what worries you turn into fuel for something better, more meaningful. Often its physical, bringing a friendship issue onto the field or court. Allowing a bad dream to turn into an amazing drawing or story. Sometimes a fight can weave its way into a make believe game for the little ones. And through the bluster of our daily worries and responsibilities comes new life, new ideas and fresh moments. I find an image, a prayer, a song can bring peace to a busy mind. So today my image is of the rainy coast of Maine. You are welcome to share mine for today, and I hope your worry turns into something better than anticipated.

A tidy house might be overrated

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Lucy in front of a daily pile of laundry I have decided it is OK for the house not to be perfect. I just asked M to straighten the blocks as I write this so I might be a bit off base but overall I am trying to let go a bit more on the household ambiance. I still try to keep clothes put away and the front room and kitchen tidy before I sleep. I have decided forts can be left up overnight, animal zoos left for playing with after school and clean diapers left on the bed for future folding. I have more fun hearing about a school story or having Daisy teach me ballet moves than vacuuming and washing the windows seems to happen a couple times a week rather than a couple times a day (as is actually needed, imagine 16 hands you get the idea). Sheff woke up early the other day and announced that life is short and we need to enjoy each day more fully. I squinted open one eye and wondered if an odd alien reversal had happened when we were sleeping. Usually I am the one with the lists and idea

10 years today!

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I suppose it is in part our fighting spirit that makes it seem like 10 years has been a breeze:) I think our road to family, the fight behind having those around us accept adoption and our faith based approach to living has made us feel like we have something to prove, in a good way. As we hit 10 years today I looked at the inscription on my wedding ring, Sheff's has the same " Forever intertwined we grow together" We were fully cognizant that we married young (I was 22, Sheff 24). On our first date (after meeting as children and being thrown back together by our parents) we talked about faith, money, divorce and education. We actually went bowling. He thought I was a bit too New York (Had just moved back from Brooklyn after a stint there) and I wondered if he was actually handsome under the fisherman beard. I relaxed back into colors falling in love and he shaved the beard. And, um, he was handsome. Sheff joined the Catholic faith and I went running in the rain and l

Bartered Pears

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We had a garage sale. It went well. For one item we were paid in pears. Lots and lots of pears. This left me in a quandary. On one hand, who doesn't enjoy pears? On the other, I have a weekends worth of housework, kids who need focused jobs to put things back in order and bins to re sort and store. What I did not feel I had oodles of was time to deal with a mess of fruit. Saturday night the four grocery bags of pears sat ominously on the counter. Before church they greeted us. Taunting my holistic mommy self to be creative, to be resourceful, to honor the tradition of barter. So we made some pears. I have a bed full of laundry to fold but bins are stacked, bags neatly label for the spring St Rose kids sale, front room vacuumed and oodles and oodles of sliced pears. To make freezer pears: Wash and slice. Compost your skins and cores. For every 2 cups of pears add aprox 2 tablespoons RealFruit Pectin and sugar and lemon juice to taste. Let sit for about 30 min stir well and st

I will do better tomorrow, I will serve a dinner that requires a plate

Do you remember the book " Alexanders terrible, no good, very bad day"? A little boy wants to move to Australia after everything goes wrong. I felt for Alexander today. It's like my whole day was a hiccup off step. The highlights of absurdity included forgetting a kid at school, I made it a full three blocks before asking sweetly " So Nate how was your day? I haven't heard a peep out of you" well mom that's because he is in the office waiting for you. Yes perfection. Earlier in the day I managed to spill things, drop things and serve Daisy chocolate milk for breakfast. That was it no usual slow cooked oatmeal or creative quiche, nope just chocolate milk. Whilst rinsing the cloth diaper in the toilet I managed to spray myself with very questionable water. A highlight was how utterly unperturbed Lucy was during my mutterings. Another prime moment was after school hearing John say" why would you put your baby sister in the doll house?" sure enoug
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September 2011 Back to school! It was hard to say good by to summer this year. This was my favorite summer of all time, really! The next up was likely biking in Europe with Lauren but that was a whole different feel and more than a decade ago:) This summer was wonderful because...yes edge of your seats, it was...organized. We had a rhythm, a daily routine and it worked so well for us. Sending them off yesterday was hard because we had worked together as a unit for 3 months. The only camp they went to was Bible camp where I worked to off set the cost. The night before school started we sat around a campfire and went over our summer highlights. Most everyone listed Maine, climbing on the rocks and finding crabs. A close second was the Bible Camp hosted by Nativity, Gloria Dei and Holy Spirit in St Paul. I worked in the Nursery with one of my closest friends so it was actually a fun week for me as well. Spending time with the Corniea family is also a summer highlight. For me its in