I will do better tomorrow, I will serve a dinner that requires a plate

Do you remember the book " Alexanders terrible, no good, very bad day"? A little boy wants to move to Australia after everything goes wrong. I felt for Alexander today. It's like my whole day was a hiccup off step. The highlights of absurdity included forgetting a kid at school, I made it a full three blocks before asking sweetly " So Nate how was your day? I haven't heard a peep out of you" well mom that's because he is in the office waiting for you. Yes perfection. Earlier in the day I managed to spill things, drop things and serve Daisy chocolate milk for breakfast. That was it no usual slow cooked oatmeal or creative quiche, nope just chocolate milk. Whilst rinsing the cloth diaper in the toilet I managed to spray myself with very questionable water. A highlight was how utterly unperturbed Lucy was during my mutterings. Another prime moment was after school hearing John say" why would you put your baby sister in the doll house?" sure enough Lucy was happily sitting in the downstairs of the doll house gumming a Barbie bike delightedly. Then in a quiet moment before dinner I thought I would sneak upstairs and read while I nursed Lucy, it was very quiet. To the big kids credit they were studiously working on homework and Nate was working on kitchen duty but then I heard Mick's voice "Mom Mark is really pink!" I finished nursing and came down with my sidekick, Lucy shrieked in glee seeing Marks very sparkly pink hair and face. No I did not take a photo, the camera battery is dead. Really why wouldn't it be today? Daisy won lip gloss at the fall festival that clearly is not intended for blond boys heads. Needing to get Daisy to dance and James to football Mark had to stay pink for awhile. Dinner was pure gourmet, bagel bites frozen pizza. I had made my almost daily broccoli slaw for myself but ate at 4 after Lucy was in the dollhouse and before Mark turned pink. James and John managed to forget to bring home daily planners with homework so I had to greet Sheff with the need for a parental lecture on responsibility. To my husbands credit he did not remark on Mark's coloring, the fact I had a left a child at school or that dinner was served on paper napkin I do realize I have made my point but as icing on the cake I tried to push the mountain of clothes off our bed in order to try a new library book only to discover I had chosen a terrible romance novel not even fit for escapism. I vow tomorrow to clean my bedside table, to make a breakfast other than chocolate milk for my children, to not forget anyone at pickup, to do my best to keep the baby out of the doll house, to keep all my children regular colors and great my husband with a smile of accomplishment. Wish me luck!


  1. If it weren't for the fact that every single part of that day sounds either A) remarkably familiar or B) pure hilarity it truly would be terrible. Instead it sounds like a brilliant children's book. I think you should forget the laundry and write the book.


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