Are they all yours?


Our first mothers day I remember the sermon in Church, actually when we were living in Linden Hills, was about forms of motherhood. We had decided to adopt before having a biological child, but I was feeling unsure about how to explain our choice. Sheff and I remember the message of acceptance. The message that all children are meant for a family, that God's plans are bigger than our own if we had the courage to trust in a greater plan. That children can be born of our hearts and born of our bodies and be loved and embraced equally.

When someone asks incredulously, if they are in fact all ours, I know there are a plethora of questions behind the words. To me it is a chance to affirm all the children. To be proud in the declaration of family, to be territorial of my own, to teach them how our claim is as powerful a force as nature.

Sheff often uses it for a chance of levity, humor. I love us as a team because his "Do you have another one for us? We sure love kids." Is as important a response as mine. I am not as thrilled with the  "Why? do you need one?" That he has also been known to throw out there:)

Labor and birth is an amazing journey I have done 5 times in the last 8 years, adoption is no less powerful or painful having done 3 times in the last 9 years. I am grateful I may not look like I have had 5 children so close together or that the strains of international adoption have not turned all my hair gray yet, I think that might be the teenage years with 5 in high school at a time! And a future blog will be my theories on vitamins, water and how I wrap my stomach immediately after birth. But that is another topic!

Once at a pool a stranger asked the question and then proceeded to point out one of the children who she said was "darker" than the rest and the question came again " Are you SURE they are all yours?" You can see where my Irish temper flares up. With many eyes looking on I responded calmly "Yes, I am quite sure, I count my blessings each day, do you?" She was flustered but moved on, and the children smiled up at me knowing, fully they were mine regardless of the way God got them to my side.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vulnerability and Educational Moments...In the Grocery Store!

Image
I had an aquatience last week remind me I had a lot of children, and said she was hesitant to celebrate our family because it seemed like too much .  This was a chance run in on friday. For those of you who know me, know how much I struggle with that assessment. Girls with eating disorders often say: "I feel like too much" kids who have behavioral problems know people say they are "too much" and big families are often seen as really neat from a distance but too much . First, everyone has their own too much threshold. It is ok that my passion is not yours! Spending all day making Kombucha like one of my fiends is too much for me, or singing in a show, but I am able to celebrate this difference without judging this difference.  Welcoming children into our home with a 100% chance of heartbreak (sadness over them leaving or sadness someone I love is loosing a birth parent) is not for everyone! My response to negativity is very often to retreat, get off social media, tr
Read more

Foster Care and Parenting, What is in a Number

Image
We welcomed eight children into our home between March 2020 and today, we have had twenty five children placed as foster children since 2015, and an additional five as respite placements. These numbers look so bland on paper. Thirty children have been part of our daily living in the last six years, we have nine of our own children. In putting some thoughts on paper about what these numbers mean, it boils down to acceptance and hard work.  If anyone is new to the Otis family speak, "our own" is a loaded term. We have five biological children and four adopted children. Early on one of our sons told us the power of the question "which ones are your own?" And the fact that I answered without hesitation all those years ago, "they are all our children" from birth or adoption, feeling fully accepted and claimed has become the way we walk in this family. This does not take away the respect and open conversation about birth families, first families and sacrifice. F
Read more

Veterans Day~ What to Do & How to Talk to Kids!

Image
Today as we celebrate Veterans day, I wanted to talk to the kids about both what it means to serve and how we can help our troops. Having family serve in the military can be a source of fear and pride. The kids do not have immediate family abroad but have heard from their Grandfathers and family friends about both war and leadership serving in the armed forces. We made a list of what WE could do from home. ~The kids' school has a program to send care packages to the troops. Shop, Ship and Share has lists of helpful things to buy and send to the troops. We got beef jerky, sunflower seeds and baby wipes for the kids to bring in to school for the program. Many locations participate, google to find locally! http://www.minnesotanationalguard.org/press_room/e-zine/articles/index.php?item=4518 ~ http://www.operationgratitude.com Check out for more ideas and programs happening to support our troops. ~Sending Halloween Candy to the troops, google the closest locations. We found a
Read more