Mess VS Breath

J-L writing in his journal in Maine
I need to get better at balance in stressful times. I guess it makes sense that things get busier and frantic when so many people have events at the same time. Games, Reconciliation, riding lessons, dance, a birthday party and then....the van breaks. Lucy did relatively well for the reconciliation service today but still it was busy and I wished she would be a bit less explorative. That was peanuts as the day went on. Doing my best to get to Costco in-between game 3 and 4, before birthday party 1 and during nap 2 the van's new transmission went kaput. So toddling along at 65 suddenly its like I am sliding on ice doing my best to navigate to the side where of course my only option was an off ramp going up. Sigh. It worked and I made it home, but clearly frazzled. No food for Lucy's first birthday and a van I was scared to drive.

I did stop and pray. Sometimes, or often, I get wrapped up in the events. Concerned with who I was able to connect with, which child was happy, which child did not play well, and I simply forget to check in above. That prayer time, that check in is like the wind off the ocean, calm and uplifting.

While Sheff was calling the dealership, looking up blue book values, calming children's hysterics about canceling Lucy's party I decided it was time to check in. I had to move the Strawberry Shortcake wedding party off the kneeler and let the noise fade back. I prayed for safety, I prayed for patience, I prayed for a chance to do a little bit better tomorrow. Honestly, with the stress I did not feel connected to God but I prayed anyway. I let the children see me check in with God.

Sheff made it work, somehow, someway. The dealer responded to the fact this van had already been overhauled once and the transmission went out. We traded it in for above blue book value and were able to get a SAFE extended SUV that with an ordered fourth row bench, we all fit into.

Todays lessons are still a bit muddled for me, trust my husband to fix something, trust God to pull through, trust my mother to show up when I need help, trust my own need to slow down and pray, and trust the children to keep things chugging along no matter what. They cleaned the house, they held Lucy, they cleared out the van  and scrubbed the car seats while Grandma Boo came hoping we would have something to put them into.

I am humbled by this day, it kicked my butt. Here hoping Sunday will be a bit of wind of the ocean.

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