To be real from the get go, I lasted 9 days.
That is not very long to deem experiment worthy.
I found in those 9 days I missed having the virtual connection, but I did much better with my real life connections.
The first two days I filled the void with similar things, I used Pinterest online. I read blogs about foster care and adoption, and I browsed online. Day three I skipped my online time in the morning and had coffee at the table with the kids as they filtered down. News flash time, it was a less stressful and a better morning.
Needing to get all the kids out the door, checking for clashing outfits (a real thing) asking about studying for tests and if homework was submitted, negotiating snack choices and last minute checks for fields trips can be exhausting. Hiding in social media while the kids swirl around me is not healthy, but it makes mornings seem less intense.
I would guess Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, are used by others, like me, to escape or coast. I found taking time to use social media was not all terrible, but overall it took away from my ability to be PRESENT with loved ones and friends.
Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky ~Brene Brown
That said, Facebook specifically can be a quilt of things, not just online gossip. I book marked BBC news, my local area page, garage sale sites, School pages and cooking ideas. I check in on a foster care and child welfare site I really enjoy. I find social media can be a fast way to get news and local information. The trick is to use social media and not let it drain and deplete me.
Seeing parties, dinners or events can be painful. I realized much more often the reality is even if I were invited, something with one of the 9 children would likely come up. Unless things happen after bedtime and physically close by for a limited time, I am out, by choice and necessity.
Seeing celebrations makes me happy, and yet there is a disconnect. I feel no substance behind the image. Seeing a first birthday party photo, we do not see the funny moment the cake fell into the pasta salad or smell the amazing baklava someone made, we do not participate in any senses other than sight.
The experiment made me want to be better about seeing people, and accepting the reality of only being able to authentically grow so many friendships and connections. I feel badly for not seeing or liking people's moments. How many photos did I simply miss because they did not hit my news feed? How can I be more present in reality for those friends or family members?
It also created great conversations with the kids, about how social media can effect us, how shutting off our phones for family time is a necessity. We talked about the ease of both complimenting and insulting someone online, and how nerve racking a real conversation can be.
Back to using social media, appreciating the ability to get information and news both global and personal. I feel a new mindfulness about the effect of online connection and want to find more and more ways to be present in community in real space and time.
I have warm coffee in my hands, the smell of waffles mixed with oatmeal in the kitchen, noise machine purring on the stairs as the baby takes his morning nap. The sunlight is bright on a post election day morning, nation and world scrambling to find a type of unity and healing. Counters to clean, mountains of laundry to fold. I have a walk scheduled for later on, a playdate after school, church dinner tonight. I am worried about a list of things, it is real worry not to be pushed to the side.
This moment is very quiet, no pop of noise or color, no commentary or reaction. It is where I am present, feeling the day without filter or distraction.
|Senses ~ 3 years ago running into the freezing lake after a late fall Sauna in Ely|