tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88147345400968651162024-03-13T23:13:22.178-07:00Otis SidekicksOtissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.comBlogger194125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-75681859586468621002021-07-08T07:35:00.005-07:002021-07-08T07:53:06.297-07:00Foster Care and Parenting, What is in a Number<p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We welcomed eight children into our home between March 2020 and today, we have had twenty five children placed as foster children since 2015, and an additional five as respite placements. These numbers look so bland on paper. Thirty children have been part of our daily living in the last six years, we have nine of our own children. In putting some thoughts on paper about what these numbers mean, it boils down to acceptance and hard work. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">If anyone is new to the Otis family speak, "our own" is a loaded term. We have five biological children and four adopted children. Early on one of our sons told us the power of the question "which ones are your own?" And the fact that I answered without hesitation all those years ago, "they are all our children" from birth or adoption, feeling fully accepted and claimed has become the way we walk in this family. This does not take away the respect and open conversation about birth families, first families and sacrifice. Fully becoming part of a family doesn't mean anything else needs to be rejected. Being part of our family in entering in, as you are, fully loved, while we learn over a lifetime how to support each other.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In foster care this challenge is much more pronounced. We are truly a safe landing zone for a child while a family heals, does treatment, finds housing, or does their work to have their child come home. Our goal to to reunify families. When we entered into foster care I had so much to learn. I had a crash course in how poverty can look like neglect, how abuse can be hidden with in layers of paperwork, how race needs to be talked about, how first phone conversations after placement are essential. So much to learn, and so much I have learned. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There are times I am exhausted, lack of sleep is one reason, but another is how much pain and suffering surrounds addiction and dysfunction. Breaking cycles of children growing up in child welfare is a very real challenge. Rarely in these thirty cases have there been families of origin who simply just don't care. There are those, and to me those are the most scary because indifference can be seen as stability, which it is not. But the majority of these cases have people who deeply and truly love the removed children. Some who get their life in order, some who just got on the wrong side of a fast moving train and have a long road of getting re connected, some who love their child but just can't care for that child safely. The last being the largest group we have walked alongside. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Foster care is family care, it is not just rocking a baby at night. It is walking along side mess, heartache and confusion and trying to always see new perspective. Foster care is middle of the night rocking someone who lost everything that has been comforting. It is bins of clothes that won't fill the hole of smells they know. Foster care is so much trial and error. Textures, smells, foods, sounds that bring comfort and ease. I can see in a child's body when I find something that works, when the body relaxes, when a smile peaks out, when after trying eight blankets, the ninth is a winner. This does not make me a saint, honestly I think it makes me a hard worker. I am willing to work hard for these small in humans in our community who have lost what they know. Wound care, digestive issues, google phone numbers, car seat installation, navigating WIC or EBT with families, having hours notice for a new placement to arrive, endless medical visits, being there for late night texts when a child goes home and a caregiver is feeling alone. That run on sentence is a job description for a foster care provider. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Foster care has also impacted our children. We are always checking in and balancing their needs and contrary to popular belief, say no to placements far more often than we say yes. Of the thirty children placed in our home, eight, I have picked up from the birth center at a local hospital. The placement length varies from six weeks to eighteen months, but saying goodbye to a child you have poured into since hospital discharge, is so deeply challenging. For the families that heal ; it is worth it. For the families that break; I know we have work to do. We being the county, foster providers, first families that need to do the work. One of my goals is to work on understanding local resources for addiction, housing and mental health advocacy. It feels like a piece that will allow me to be an even more effective advocate in this world.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; min-height: 18px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqpf7aa5BnH_0sBGARA_V-Tod_jh7HDLMgTgF_cl8QNxMWVnrV1B1rLfnoMWAgmXIVfEE586VOu2DysYB04oJjup2oEh0rOUO5jertwc825G8INI2YiWEx-84wYpEK4xyPyQEkh_xmeuU/s2048/CECC78CB-8398-484F-82B3-919339E7E5BD.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqpf7aa5BnH_0sBGARA_V-Tod_jh7HDLMgTgF_cl8QNxMWVnrV1B1rLfnoMWAgmXIVfEE586VOu2DysYB04oJjup2oEh0rOUO5jertwc825G8INI2YiWEx-84wYpEK4xyPyQEkh_xmeuU/s320/CECC78CB-8398-484F-82B3-919339E7E5BD.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Example of laundry, never less than ten baskets. I often listen to audio books and have special laundry room toys for different ages, so it is actually one of my favorite household chores as a mom of many. </div><br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-8842166615869887022020-12-06T11:40:00.007-08:002020-12-06T17:04:25.783-08:00Pandemic Part Two, Adjustments.<p>Where we were in March and where we are today has evolved. </p><p>Sure there are great things, we all feel some of those. More time together, slower pace, perspective and pause. The flip side can be really painful. Isolation, feeling underwater, fear of the future, disconnection to loved ones and the list goes on. </p><p>Yesterday after a day that had foster care lows, disconnection from our oldest that I know I am not managing well, and frozen pizzas (with lots of jalapeños) for dinner, we needed a re boot. As a family we brainstormed some ideas to get us out of the "pandemic slump" that we have fallen into. We re wrote the chore chart to update days that work for the 7 living at home, we deep cleaned seasonal spaces to get out winter gear for skating, sledding and indoor space for skateboarding. We sorted things to donate and recycle. We washed and folded all the left over items that were used for our foster daughter that left, said a prayer over the pile, and put them in a bin. We took turns helping with out current placement and playing with David. And overall we all shared where we were, some good, some not so good. </p><p>We spend a lot of time as a family praying, talking and playing. We try to serve others together, work together, sometimes workout together. For this to be smooth we spend time dealing with the things that come up. Hopefully creating a culture where it is Ok, to not be Ok. Distance learning is working well for some, and not for others. It feels impossible to navigate all the changes and choices and electronics. </p><p>Today we were late to Church, I promise we try to be on time. But in we roll, nine to a dozen of us, at 9:07. We are distanced, masked and respectful. But as we sat, I reflected in part to a great sermon about making way for Advent, on how to shake off the gray days and make room for light. After Church we threw together breakfast (2 dozen eggs, 20 rolls with cinnamon butter and canned peaches) and then laced up our skates to enjoy the lake. We will have good and bad days, we will do our best to navigate choices and options and try to stay on top of this new way of being in the world. We will adjust and evolve, and fail as often as we succeed. </p><p>My goal is to enjoy as much time as I can as a family. Get out of my head, my worry. Get out of the house and play. So today I went skating. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijFgX_ufyjTXXi-aY6Je7m-_6zK3p-ZYzEVB1DSFvpp6v9ZB_3mTK7VqFQc64H65zV1BmgCacSfhvbqMxZPIQ59mM983TXMEzsYrq66XkAdIKn1HT5KhhjUNbUgdOh0DOJq12HXSgzuPw/s2048/IMG_9475.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1539" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijFgX_ufyjTXXi-aY6Je7m-_6zK3p-ZYzEVB1DSFvpp6v9ZB_3mTK7VqFQc64H65zV1BmgCacSfhvbqMxZPIQ59mM983TXMEzsYrq66XkAdIKn1HT5KhhjUNbUgdOh0DOJq12HXSgzuPw/s320/IMG_9475.jpg" /></a></div><p><br /></p><div class="verseundefinedundefinedundefined" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><h3 style="color: #625529; font-size: 17.6px;"><span class="vote-buttons invisible" style="margin: 0px; padding-right: 10px; visibility: hidden;"><button id="vote_u_20017022" name="vote_u_20017022" style="margin-bottom: 3px;" type="submit" value="1"></button><button id="vote_d_20017022" name="vote_d_20017022" style="margin-bottom: 3px;" type="submit" value="-1"></button></span></h3><p style="margin-top: -1em;">A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22</p></div>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-61150597958272417682020-11-18T07:26:00.007-08:002020-11-18T07:38:15.980-08:00Practicing Hospitality in a Pandemic<p><br /></p><div class="slideshow-slide-dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4; outline: 0px;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; outline: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">"<i>Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:13<br style="box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px;" /></i></span></p><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.02em; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Last week I had a text that someone had adult mens winter gear, could I possibly swing by and pick it up? At the exact moment the text came in I had just dropped my freshman off for football and was worried about his lack of winter athletic gear, I had two foster children both not happy in carseats, our four year old angry about loosing glow in the dark teeth from Halloween and a nine year old trying to sell me on tic tok, vying for my full attention. Deep breath. Why on earth would I drive to a suburb and pick this stuff up? For some reason I decided I should do it so we made the thirty minute drive. Fast forward 48 hours a text came in copied here: "Hi there I got your number from a case aid in Ramsey County. He said you might have connections for clothing needs. It is a long shot but I help with a prison release program and I have a van load of guys without gear." Come Holy Spirit Come. </span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">It does not always work out this way. The connection piece, of making sure a kind donation actually meets a need, can be frustrating. Sometimes feeling at a loss to meet the needs of my children or foster children, can make me feel closed off from others. My oldest needs to figure out housing, and yet I can help a newly </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.32px;">reunified</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> family </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.32px;">navigate</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> a lease agreement? Why does God call me to serve others when I feel </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.32px;">depleted</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">? I don't have these answers. Late at night after saying a resounded "YES" to a newborn, I question my choice. Watching a baby detox is </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.32px;">heartbreaking</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">, and I feel powerless. But I guess showing up can be an act of love. </span></span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span face="Brandon, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 0.02em;">This pandemic has left me feeling isolated at times, even with my amazing family. So I have to believe others are feeling this ten fold. How do we step into this void willingly and safely right now? </span></span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">I miss gatherings, and saying yes to watching extra kids. I still do it as much as is </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">responsible</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> and safe, but it is not the same. The </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">aesthetic</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> of prepping for a party, the beauty of candles and food, and decorations is stripped bare from the hospitality of helping those in poverty or rough life turns. </span></span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">I have to believe Christ sees the beauty in this form of hospitality. He sees the difficult car ride of crying kids, and poor </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">map-quest</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> directions. He sees the late nights of washing </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">hand-me</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> downs and folding them for kids I will never meet. The early snowy morning apartment drop offs that are </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">anonymous</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">. He sees this and supports me in a quiet </span><span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">form of giving. And maybe this will lead to others </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">helping</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> where I can not. Kindness to one of my children, or foster children. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.34px;">Knowledge</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> about an area I just don't understand. The humility in serving strips away the ego, and leaves in it's place a willingness to learn. </span></span></span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face="Brandon, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> </span></span><i style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;">"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."Philippians 2:4</i><span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="slideshow-slide-hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.13; margin-bottom: 0.625rem; outline: 0px; padding: 0.625rem 0px;"><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaAjD8aBp72Gunr7GSGrLYx5sCS6OSu9_6cknMoFwOVv33jRDmrOuZwit_joWrGKSPBaUXpqM8QweAWFd0oW4_jukJ7pP287ZCH5OgIVnpLyPRTfdaR8lgm-XDBQC623YuJ1gKREugWMs/s2048/5A05FFC4-FAD2-43F8-BBBA-5532953F08DF.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaAjD8aBp72Gunr7GSGrLYx5sCS6OSu9_6cknMoFwOVv33jRDmrOuZwit_joWrGKSPBaUXpqM8QweAWFd0oW4_jukJ7pP287ZCH5OgIVnpLyPRTfdaR8lgm-XDBQC623YuJ1gKREugWMs/s320/5A05FFC4-FAD2-43F8-BBBA-5532953F08DF.JPG" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Three brothers bringing winter gear & clothing to a foster placement from the Together For Good Foster Closet. Most of the time divine serendipity does not just happen. It is countless hours of work by social workers, phone calls and dedication behind the scenes. Volunteers organizing clothing, packing things up and driving to a need request. </span><span style="font-family: Charter, Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 1.0625rem; letter-spacing: 0.02em;"><br /></span></span></div></div>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-36242521464818112642020-03-15T11:09:00.005-07:002020-03-15T11:20:09.672-07:00Family Plan March 2020, Wash & Help<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blogger.g?blogID=8814734540096865116" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">Finding out our family of ten is going to be at home together for the foreseeable future lead us to brainstorm some structure. This schedule allows kids ranging baby to senior in high school some level of routine. We have a clear plastic tote for phones for the two hour afternoon slot in the kitchen. Our daily and weekly chores are not changing. Over the summer we are much more relaxed. For our family, accustomed to athletics, faith formation, and being on the go, this will be a challenge. We are doing our best to meet it head on with: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">~ 1 Hour Outside activity (at least, can combine another requirement such as chores)</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">~ 1 Hour Fitness, this can be walking the dog, weights, running, list choice:</span></div>
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~Help the household run, Dad has a list of paid work around the house, keep your rooms clean, be mindful of keeping the space to a high standard. Cleaning wipes in all bathrooms. Also, wipe doorknobs daily and use vacuum weekly, change linens weekly.</div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">~ 1-3pm Phones all in the “Phone Box” Unplug. Plan accordingly. Let your clan know, Face Time about at home fashion before or after this time. Print your workout, find a radio. </span>This can be time to go outside, play a family game, clean your room, read and so on.</div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">~ Kitchen chores, set weekly chores that won’t change. Posted. Additionally, when school work comes into play that will take over extra hours. Until then be creative, let us know how to support your ideas. We will find ways to adjust this as needed. </span></div>
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Notes: How is this different than summer? No hang time/play dates, no major outings, much more time at home, keep up with news, research the science. Church at home (weekly on Sundays) find ways to set goals and use this time. Also, we will have posted community service plans weekly. These will include, but not be limited to: Writing letters to those in nursing homes, figuring out local small businesses to support by getting gift cards or food to go, bringing donations to the food shelf, foster care community support as needed. Loaves and Fishes, meals on wheels. We need to have our eyes open to new needs and how we as a family, can have a civic, faith centered response. </div>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-87474715395093602542019-04-28T11:59:00.001-07:002019-04-28T11:59:55.389-07:00Worthy WorkSomeone came up to me after church today and asked about foster care, I could see the worry there. This was a kinship question, and I knew right away this would be a family I would be dropping off gear for, maybe a meal and praying for often. It made me think about the purpose of work, the value of productivity both compensated and non compensated. It made me think about how I am modeling work both at home, and in the world, to our children.<br />
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When we started taking care of children, I did not think of it as work. I thought of it as a way to share our families warmth. Overtime I have learned, providing good quality care to vulnerable children, is indeed, work.<br />
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I am able to help with multiple need based clothing closets, and have seen the need grow. We have had Head Start, foster families, single mothers and newly immigrated families, come in recently. Of course this is an unpaid job, and there are days it feels like really anyone could be doing it, so why me? When this person approached me at church today it was a reminder. I need to keep helping, doing this work of service, because it is needed. It is not about me as a person, but rather about the work being needed. Part of our families faith is deeply rooted in social justice and the commitment to find ways of serving.<br />
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When a set of brothers left our house I sent bags of clothing, rain boots, new matching rain coats from a friend, backpacks and sweet stuffed animals and blankets they had come to love in the month with us. The bags were packed with clothes from different homes that made their way to us, the backpacks were from a Together For Good backpack drive, the shoes from Once Upon a Child when we needed to try on many to get the right fit and fun character.<br />
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I received a text from a social worker that motivated me to jot this blog. Her note was as follows:<br />
<i>Thank you for your service to these boys. It is the most consistent routine they have ever had, I see it in their behavior. They are calmer, they use some self soothing that is new. You are one of the good ones. </i><br />
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I have thought of those boys often this week as I go through the daily routine with our youngest, as I wash loads of dirty clothes from spring mud and line up rain boots. I think of them and I think of the other twelve placements we have had, truly hoping our families choice to work, in this specific way, has blessed them.<br />
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-49764384090382198792019-01-16T08:07:00.004-08:002019-01-16T20:37:13.581-08:00Compassion & Teens<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">In-between practice drop off and game start time I attempted to google articles on compassion for teens making decisions about their future. I found a lot of college versus trades information, some TED talks on taking gap years and how to work with fair test schools that do not require types of tests for admittance. These were all actually informative but not what I was going for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">There IS a beautifully written blog out there, but I am going to break my blog silence and attempt my own. Feel free to share with me things you find on this topic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have extended community friends who lost a daughter to suicide in 2018 because she felt she was a disappointment. One of our kids has a friend who overdosed because he did not get into the college he hoped. These are just two stories whirling in my mind at 4am as I try to sleep. <i>How do I extend compassion on a community level, to teens I do not even know, to tell them they are worthy?</i> How do we infuse compassion and acceptance into the stale idea of life being a journey? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I am not sure if pressure is higher, or if social media highlights success in a way that makes failure more painful, but I do know I want to be vocal in choosing acceptance over expectation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have children who will get scholarships, we have children who will not attend a four year college. Our household has special needs and high academic achievers, some combined. As we move into choosing future paths, choosing class schedules, choosing what to focus on, I want to make sure the conversation is open to creative measures of success. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">To all those wandering, no need to think you are lost. To all those scared to make a bad choice, most of your choices are likely solid. To all those thinking they let their parents down, you didn't, they are adults with their own life, their job is to love and support you. Yes, set your own standards of excellence, never stop achieving and growing. <i>But please don't over think what someone else is doing. What YOU are doing is worthy. If you need help, ask for it, shout for it, demand the help you need.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I will worry about my kids at 4am, and yours as well. But rather than judgment what I feel is genuine curiosity, compassion and excitement for what comes next. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ―</span><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333;">Albert Einstein</span><br />
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</span>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-89753094375593288032017-10-25T11:32:00.001-07:002017-10-25T11:41:34.697-07:00Choosing Gratitude over Stress and Guilt<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">In a group today a great panel of women talked about how to create margin in family life. This goal rose to the top of the discussion for me. It aligned with a goal I have set for myself of replacing the word gratitude for the word shame, or the feeling of guilt. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I feel guilty at times I am able to be home with our children, when I stop myself and swap the words, it is a mind shift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I am so lucky to have this choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I am grateful for this time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is also the feeling of shame if I did a poor job with my day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I feel guilty if I didn't manage to find time to make that phone call (I hate making phone calls! Next year's goal) or if I missed an appointment or did not get the house tidy by the time my first child rolls in the door. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">To replace that flustered feeling of annoyance with one of being grateful is not easy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #181818;">“Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift.” </span><span style="color: #181818;">― </span><a class="gmail-authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15042371.Roy_T_Bennett" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Roy T. Bennett</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">A gift of the everyday is my desired outlook. As simple as it sounds I am finding myself working diligently to replace the word "Stress" with "Grateful" in my day to day patterns. I am grateful to be healthy, to have energy to worry! How can I shift that energy into a more life fulfilling direction? As I work towards this goal I am finding small slivers of new space and energy for renewal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #181818;">“As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness -- just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.” </span><br style="color: #181818;" /><span style="color: #181818;">― </span><a class="gmail-authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5300.Laura_Ingalls_Wilder" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Laura Ingalls Wilder</a><span style="color: #181818;">, </span><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="color: #333333;"><b><a class="gmail-authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/11151" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder: On Wisdom and Virtues</a></b></span></span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a class="gmail-authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/11151" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMV0hDQ1SqfkxTcJjK9hLWj8b2nlib7BMtuGOl39kqsnc9OLITrnuf4XEYqmEqZvLPM5yuMzioBK-sYqlWLRu0_BqV0GSHlExom581UyeRAsmMmHQAn3UboCQRJ6cWxrsx_0Pdh5RXGYY/s320/P1010017.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I am so grateful for these children, look at how they have grown from </span></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">this pumpkin day eight years ago! </span></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I want to give thanks for hard bits and the </span></span></i></span><span style="color: #181818; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><i>amazing</i></b></span><i style="font-family: times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> bits. </span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">May the busy they bring leave margin for exponential joy.</span></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfY3EiNZJucMPbo8dEMxs6rzLbyMRNRLv3NcyXgogwv0eTS8vPYlO80u6ClQfeR3dz6NvmXlDI_BAJhpWLPMpV_IJH27deJVUjQqiGqn38tWIduyMRYq6yfeBFc-L_-zOk7gLgZq3NY-g/s1600/IMG_7324.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfY3EiNZJucMPbo8dEMxs6rzLbyMRNRLv3NcyXgogwv0eTS8vPYlO80u6ClQfeR3dz6NvmXlDI_BAJhpWLPMpV_IJH27deJVUjQqiGqn38tWIduyMRYq6yfeBFc-L_-zOk7gLgZq3NY-g/s320/IMG_7324.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span id="gmail-quote_book_link_8197" style="color: #181818;"><a class="gmail-authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/11151" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"><b><span id="goog_115566285" style="color: #333333;"></span><span id="goog_115566286" style="color: #333333;"></span></b></a></span></i></span>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-4992091398386495852017-10-02T20:08:00.002-07:002017-10-02T20:53:57.769-07:00Room On The Couch, Upsides to Downsizing With a Big Family<div class="gmail-subtitle" style="background-color: white; padding: 15px; text-align: start;">
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">October, the world is getting colder and we had a day of rain. We have been working together to create space for our family, welcome in a new sweet Foster sibling and fix projects before the weather turns. We have a historically high number of schools as kids are in different stages nursery, elementary, junior high and different high schools. We are driving and juggling sports teams, trying as always to make sure being a big family does not become a burden to the kids chances of success.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. Exodus 17:12</b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">A shared project is a much lighter load. We have been working on house projects trying to fit twelve of us with efficiency and humor into a smaller space. I admit I think I (mom) have had the hardest time with the change, but as the weather turns projects are being finished up and I am seeing the gains. A laundry room with wall to wall drying rack was a huge hit this summer, now nine lockers and a curtain to hide the chaos of that many shoes, books and paper treasures. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEfMHtxgv_hR0zhBipa5T6QYwEE2hiDsJplOxt3CADe4RzVoLsFpvZQy3fPb3Df8GkE0E6oNRKXtbzvIyxGXliAbHdZoa1bGYWMfVYpDNjplokx9ZO4RAZfw9n5bbw07XoYSSTYhj0F8/s1600/IMG_3539.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEfMHtxgv_hR0zhBipa5T6QYwEE2hiDsJplOxt3CADe4RzVoLsFpvZQy3fPb3Df8GkE0E6oNRKXtbzvIyxGXliAbHdZoa1bGYWMfVYpDNjplokx9ZO4RAZfw9n5bbw07XoYSSTYhj0F8/s320/IMG_3539.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">M is ready for action. Everyone helped!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA1Q2fqM9by0hq8jjMBKlIwHDS1DpXQtay1ICzKvIocBW0pDn1WNIMoyysFiYmh5IHpWYhyq0E5EtG1cPQy5RCGaoFu2eQUn-VnI6l8qHu7mgKAdJkyRplt4spOkF44u-sanuI9EbjJY/s1600/IMG_4712.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1345" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA1Q2fqM9by0hq8jjMBKlIwHDS1DpXQtay1ICzKvIocBW0pDn1WNIMoyysFiYmh5IHpWYhyq0E5EtG1cPQy5RCGaoFu2eQUn-VnI6l8qHu7mgKAdJkyRplt4spOkF44u-sanuI9EbjJY/s320/IMG_4712.JPG" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hide the mess with an entry way that serves as a mudroom. Sheff did a great job in two weekends so pleased with the functionality. Not sure about wet boots and coats but one step at a time!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWp-FyINyRdWk-5m-20AhhN1n3C8sWsy2lphLqZuTMKiKshmP8UAF2eo5oYA6q8KyuxJ9LmaqxqfBCz3KFdb-qo5DCSdvsn60lXZ4Ra0xa9pzJMptZvxTuuHZ7teUFsrtB14DJ_woHPQ/s1600/IMG_3542.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWp-FyINyRdWk-5m-20AhhN1n3C8sWsy2lphLqZuTMKiKshmP8UAF2eo5oYA6q8KyuxJ9LmaqxqfBCz3KFdb-qo5DCSdvsn60lXZ4Ra0xa9pzJMptZvxTuuHZ7teUFsrtB14DJ_woHPQ/s320/IMG_3542.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Helps to hang clothes although this was in the summer when two loads fit on the outside clothes line. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjgFWPRw3S8HXkv4Kn42aGxX8iPE5Z4zf8GOnHfx-_2B6qO3ddX6spMS0MAWXrV6wbR-fTDRRXT4zCIY2Yie1O7qCXcSlpazHYrkSmbU_LEHoKj1AdcqDn750o_ILYY5gXjK90tvTuxA/s1600/IMG_4711.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjgFWPRw3S8HXkv4Kn42aGxX8iPE5Z4zf8GOnHfx-_2B6qO3ddX6spMS0MAWXrV6wbR-fTDRRXT4zCIY2Yie1O7qCXcSlpazHYrkSmbU_LEHoKj1AdcqDn750o_ILYY5gXjK90tvTuxA/s320/IMG_4711.JPG" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Entry way/Mudroom. <br />
Piping for curtain rods and multiple panels so kids can use in a hurry.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJMd09PDC_vrTSK9dT0E7REb-nXXuhnS5YJZGxvSFJmB55RC8WpEf9O2-IDXKexbKjbf1SF8W-b5LGWW9aYNR2bvdhsLqR-29wYYudGbJrwoux1RRVuYyroZgDb45pviQY_Cs5F1Uarvw/s1600/IMG_4407.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJMd09PDC_vrTSK9dT0E7REb-nXXuhnS5YJZGxvSFJmB55RC8WpEf9O2-IDXKexbKjbf1SF8W-b5LGWW9aYNR2bvdhsLqR-29wYYudGbJrwoux1RRVuYyroZgDb45pviQY_Cs5F1Uarvw/s320/IMG_4407.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Typical moment, love the hugs. <br />
Like any mama it can be difficult getting things done with littles. As I imagine and explore adding in a small amount of paid work, I am mindful of enjoying this time and not wishing away the busy days of firsts with my last little ones. First steps, first words, first time of tasting sour and seeing rain. The moments that both delight and amaze me, and make me grateful for these years.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">One of the goals in this move for us was to come together. I have been fighting this call tooth and nail. I want my cake and to eat it too, how humbling to see how God is working in this new time for our family. With one space for watching telivision we come together and have to debate and decide what we watch. We have an extra table at the back of this room for projects and folding laundry, mom rarely sits but is in the same space with everyone. This is also where forts are made and race cars zoom underfoot. </span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We used to have four telivisions I am embarrassed to admit. With almost everyone sharing bedrooms kids talk into the night and support each other more visibly during the day. Some patterns that worked before continue to do so here, chores, spending most of the time playing outside. The new patterns are born of less space, more work for mom, more connectedness as a family. I continue to pray for a gentle spirit in this change (not my feisty Irish one that needs to question the sanity of thirty two pairs of tennis shoes by the front door) and work on my ability to welcome the imperfection that comes with less space and a big family. I struggle feeling less able to host (something we enjoy) with out more space. But I know this is exactly where we need to be right now! </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the ufading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:4</b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I love these photos, with lots of open seating, the majority of the family squished onto one couch. As the world turns in grief and pain with historic shootings and political turmoil, what a comfort it is to snuggle in with family. Not to take this closeness lightly, but rather, to give thanks.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjICcODRXRWKKCwpRyIp2NQNMpXsOkLC392b7b9YANzwbfoM2oogATiy-D0obVyMHeLtvl8tTIbu2-BcoCHXmB8kHs1ZsvrlepJ6ua9KMZA713FpIH5SfbfEEV8v-qwqRr7VxZM3SLxnxQ/s1600/IMG_4731.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjICcODRXRWKKCwpRyIp2NQNMpXsOkLC392b7b9YANzwbfoM2oogATiy-D0obVyMHeLtvl8tTIbu2-BcoCHXmB8kHs1ZsvrlepJ6ua9KMZA713FpIH5SfbfEEV8v-qwqRr7VxZM3SLxnxQ/s320/IMG_4731.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A whole extra couch:) 8 Otis people in a row, I guess we CAN host!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhir7VSAa_QD9xP56UR_lmqqT1PXrcFPdz5mIdGmDVTz9sI9rZklV6lZxShn1iMavRmwtR9-zywps6VH-hKHfBm6uuRsMyYQmVp_Nl4ngifsdc2urN2JeeYuF5q3NM4vtFQJ5cpQPQowKw/s1600/IMG_4732.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhir7VSAa_QD9xP56UR_lmqqT1PXrcFPdz5mIdGmDVTz9sI9rZklV6lZxShn1iMavRmwtR9-zywps6VH-hKHfBm6uuRsMyYQmVp_Nl4ngifsdc2urN2JeeYuF5q3NM4vtFQJ5cpQPQowKw/s320/IMG_4732.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So peacful around here Dad fell asleep!</td></tr>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-46113408580498253302017-08-14T14:54:00.000-07:002017-08-14T15:36:45.005-07:00Summer of 10 ~ We made it to Aug!After a long break my mind is whirring with thoughts to get down on paper and notes I have made about organizing, traveling and making it through the summer with ten children in the home ranging from newborn to 17 years old. It has actually been a great summer! I say actually because sleep deprivation is hard, navigating new jobs with teens is hard and having three kids with permits but no extra driver...is hard!<br />
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Traveling with the kids was an adventure. We slept in one tent and packed everything to fit in a duffel on the back and a topper on the top of the van. We picked up deodorant on the way and new socks at the Nike outlet in Maine. Amazingly the only major thing we forgot were batteries for the camp lanterns night one. We had coffee (key people, key) fun foil pack food, a clothes line, enough mats and blankets to make up for 5 sleeping bags for the 10 of us. It worked! Time on the Island was wonderful, salty, rich with seasonal food and laughter connecting to Sheff's college roommates.<br />
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At home I need more bins. I ALWAYS need more bins. I adore a new label and new bin. The possibility of total streamlined family motion. In the door shoes in the bin, papers in your folder, athletic schedule pinned to the board, leftover food in the fridge. Does this happen? Sometimes it does! Other times I look around and instead of defeat I think "More bins!" and off I go to shuffle already filed baskets and create a shiny new label. Ahhh labels.<br />
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So, we made it to August. September will bring brand new things, 4 in high schools, 1 private, 2 public, 1 homeschooled! Yes, a new thing we will take on with gusto (and likely some bins) and fresh hope.<br />
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As we enter into the dog days of summer I am feeling deep relief that we have a 9 week old baby who sleeps a 6 hour stretch, that we have a toddler who adores books and says new words that me me smile and want to leave the mess to read one more time, that we have healthy children. I even give thanks for kids who are bored, praise be school and books that have never been found are just around the bend.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;">~ Fathers day with the 10, such an amazing bunch~</span></td></tr>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-22039009991730425052017-04-20T06:25:00.001-07:002017-04-20T06:25:25.624-07:00April ~ Robert Frost<div align="left" style="background-color: #fffbf0; color: darkgreen; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; padding: 9px 5px 5px;">
<span style="color: green; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">The sun was warm but the wind was chill.<br />You know how it is with an April day.<br />When the sun is out and the wind is still,<br />You're one month on in the middle of May.<br />But if you so much as dare to speak,<br />a cloud come over the sunlit arch,<br />And wind comes off a frozen peak,<br />And you're two months ba</span></div>
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<span style="color: green; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">ck in the middle of March."<br />- Robert Frost, <i>Two Tramps in Mud Time</i>, 1926 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When I was little my Dad would read poetry as I went to sleep and stay up late into the night. When the seasons chnage I think of him and this poem came to mind. </span></div>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-87526268348348251732017-03-12T07:53:00.002-07:002017-03-12T08:28:22.616-07:00Prayers in the Margins, Time and Documenting the Hard Stuff<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When I was a sophomore in college I purchased a prayer book at Sam's club of all places. Some roommates from college had memberships. I had never been in a warehouse store and it was fascinating, now it is a weekly habit. At 19, the idea of needing 10 pounds of hamburger at a time was unfathomable. Now it means two meatloaves and spaghetti sauce for weekly meals. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The prayer book was already dated when I picked it up in 1997, the pages featuring women with pastel dresses, lots of wicker furniture and primary color clad kids. Hidden with the photos were sound advice and biblical verses. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQNdAselskvYs13TgapXzwT_lc14Ji_75Et5DCP9cJzsB0e20YJFjA_HBet0_tjmRuFJBYUXY9FuBDK4QJyQ06Q9-dnSpMzD2neyZoyD1E_G1wUfBK6ksVXY8R46eioq3g-SsmU_f3S_0/s1600/unnamed-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQNdAselskvYs13TgapXzwT_lc14Ji_75Et5DCP9cJzsB0e20YJFjA_HBet0_tjmRuFJBYUXY9FuBDK4QJyQ06Q9-dnSpMzD2neyZoyD1E_G1wUfBK6ksVXY8R46eioq3g-SsmU_f3S_0/s200/unnamed-7.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf0QjJrUlojLhV3VDHvbjS66n41EJg9wp4kN4Wk_Ks4ebSWAZWwz2bqjx5FMq7vu9JcQa1OVTk-5hVlZpBYL7sjmg1Msse7dUtnLdKtnCdIMmAgJ2R1tTvsJEKdykG4SpiMnb6hvUmFuA/s1600/unnamed-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf0QjJrUlojLhV3VDHvbjS66n41EJg9wp4kN4Wk_Ks4ebSWAZWwz2bqjx5FMq7vu9JcQa1OVTk-5hVlZpBYL7sjmg1Msse7dUtnLdKtnCdIMmAgJ2R1tTvsJEKdykG4SpiMnb6hvUmFuA/s200/unnamed-4.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrqoXo0mWQXreLj2BpyQA8v87yYmR8L4oP6W_VjHUtdx5Y626TfJdmtYJVXtBUvticzFJ0r3wPrLAnTjQHu-fsHQtf-qgrWR0OJ69urgeRwXnAKLGd6qOOafeCHS1gIckv1uoOGxGsLxo/s1600/unnamed-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrqoXo0mWQXreLj2BpyQA8v87yYmR8L4oP6W_VjHUtdx5Y626TfJdmtYJVXtBUvticzFJ0r3wPrLAnTjQHu-fsHQtf-qgrWR0OJ69urgeRwXnAKLGd6qOOafeCHS1gIckv1uoOGxGsLxo/s200/unnamed-3.jpg" width="155" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I started to jot down worries and moments of answered prayer. My biological father passed away and I wrote about my final conversation with him, simply writing <i>Phoned Ken, he sounded like he was thinking about God. He said he hopes where he goes next will have the sound of birds. I'm sad. </i>Later on a new note on the same page jotted 5 years later, <i>Praying for an easy birth, thank you Lord for all our blessings. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-size: 16px;">Teach us to number our days, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-size: 16px;">that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Without context these notes are difficult to understand, as a whole it is now 20 years of quick notes. No note is more than a few lines, sometimes a piece of paper is in-between the pages. One is about MMO coming early, praying a bump on his wrist was harmless. It was not, it was a staff infection, he ended up with a broviac IV at home. That same baby caused the entry <i>14 years old, and six feet, thank you God for our little fighter who has gotten so big.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Many entries are during Lent over the years, things given up and things taken on. Least favorite was giving up coffee in 2010. Most favorite was taking on daily blessings for the children as they left for school in 2009. As I read through these moments of reflection I am awed by the power of memory and grateful for the promise of hope in difficult times. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Time turns forward today, daylights savings 2017 and I am thanking my teenage college self for taking the time to grab that prayer book. Thanking my younger self for trusting in the collection of tomorrows and writing down snapshots to give my older self perspective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Psalms for Women, God's Gift of Joy and Encouragement</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Published by Honor Books 1989</i></span>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-13207317101958834842017-02-13T06:24:00.002-08:002017-02-13T06:24:38.785-08:00Science Blog, What We Wish Other People Knew About Fostering<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I would use different language than the blog below, but I agree with these points especially #12 </span><span class="_47e3 _5mfr" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 0; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle;" title="smile emoticon"><img alt="" aria-hidden="1" class="img" height="16" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v7/f4c/1/16/1f642.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: -3px;" width="16" /><span aria-hidden="1" class="_7oe" style="display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0px; width: 0px;">:)</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> We really want to help our community in this specific way. I want to take on kids who need hands on healing and stubborn love, Sheff loves me and loves kids enough to not only support this but dive in with humor and amazing boundaries that are consistent. The other children are learning about privilege, learning about nutrition and basic medical needs. They are also having to share, and I am very aware of trying to balance their rights and space with our desire to teach compassionate hands on giving.</span><br />
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http://scienceblogs.com/casaubonsbook/2013/03/12/what-foster-parents-wish-other-people-knew/Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-52898069869414128732017-02-06T07:24:00.002-08:002017-02-06T07:30:58.411-08:00Different Paths: Together<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me........ </i></div>
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<i>Psalm 25: 4-5</i></div>
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When we started out this parenting journey I think we both thought it was best to be a united front, same sports, same schools, same childhood books and songs. As an only child the idea of having a community of people with traditions, inside jokes and wacky car trip memories was my highest dream. Those things have happened, but not in the ways we imagined.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New Years tradition of bubbly juice & an appetizer dinner. We try for food from around the world. Then we choose things that the others (in our family) can pray for in the coming year. A way we can support each other as a family, this makes it more of a group movement rather than individualistic pursuit. Happy 2017!</td></tr>
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This winter gave punctuation to the need to support very different paths while staying connected and supportive as a family. As we grow and evolve and serve, this need allows us to be compassionate and aware of difference. Hearing aids, speech help, concussion recovery (all different kids) and finding the right high schools to support emerging adult thinkers. With teens researching college to foster babies where mama is researching formula, to our sweet boy we are in process of adopting, life continues to flow.<br />
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I am doing my best to sleep when I can, accept help, eat my greens, enjoy my apple fritters, laugh at my children's jokes and clean when no one is watching.<br />
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I pray for the strength to support our children differently, the wisdom to trust my husband and love him where he is and the grace to be a foster mother trusting in the Lord's greater plan.<br />
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-61865526229137915712016-12-31T09:14:00.001-08:002016-12-31T09:22:23.104-08:00Out of the Box, Haiku and Family Meeting for Fresh Takes<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>promise full of simple joy</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Giving faith a chance</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3 haikus by Deirdre, be gentle with me this is my first shot at Haiku poetry!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Family meeting last night we spoke together of how to celebrate New Year's Eve as a family, what we wished for in the new year. One thing that came up from our teens was brainstorming how to </span><b style="color: #222222;">re create patterns of behavior</b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">, for example how to make Saturday mornings more peaceful. M1 suggested a big breakfast where we all gathered. Today Sheff made blueberry pancakes, and fried up turkey bacon (give it a chance nitrate free and very good from Costco;) we felt connected and ready for the day. Our teen daughter suggested we all come up with three goals for the new year and have family partners to check in with throughout the year for support. Our middle daughter said we needed more family game nights, and we should tell pop corn stories. J-L thought of ways to diffuse situations when people felt angry or sad, really great NEW and out of the box ideas for us. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Writing some poetry is out of the norm for me. <b>Looking for ways to be creative</b> with road blocks that come our way in 2017, and <b>hope to give breath to fresh ways t</b>o look at the world. <b>As a family we want to serve, pray and create together in ways that feel both comforting and </b></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>challenging. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">The </span><b style="color: #222222;">haiku</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> is a Japanese verse in three lines. Line one has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7 syllables and line three has 5 syllables. </span><b style="color: #222222;">Haiku</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> is a mood poem and it doesn't use any metaphors or similes. Usually when </span><b style="color: #222222;">Haiku</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> is taught the students are only given the restriction of the number of lines and syllables. More found here </span>https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/haiku-poetic-form</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-62224699774526158512016-12-08T07:12:00.001-08:002016-12-08T07:50:58.108-08:00How to Get Involved with Foster Care, And Support Those Who Serve in This Way<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The hope in Foster Care is to heal families, to give birth families a chance to get back on their feet. In the very first training every educator cannot stress this </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">enough. At times it can feel as if potential families are being pushed away! That is not the intent, the intent is to teach and inform.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">If that primary goal cannot be accomplished, the hope is to find families with open hearts willing </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">to take a chance on a child, willing to re create their family and make room for a child who deserves the chance to grow with stability and unconditional love. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Loose statistics in our area say about 60% of kids will not reunify with birth families. It is painful to live in limbo and not know if a child you are loving might leave! Having spoken to many Foster families I am finding that everyone agrees that pouring love into a child helps them no matter what. If a family is placed with a scared and traumatized 3 year old, creating stability for that little person will change them forever. If the child stays, they will have healed and grown in a place that becomes home. If the child goes, they feel open and able to create new patterns with a primary care giver who may have gotten sober, gotten a better living situation or a grandmother who can better bond with the child. It is never wasted energy.</span></span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It is not easy to be part of the system, but the best way to create change is to work hard from the center. One difficulty is the impulse to expect gratitude from the child in need. It can be paradoxical that a community response might be "way to go you!" vs a child might be angry and act out. A Foster child's lifes has been turned upside down! Our advice is to use the community support to find energy. Energy for compassion working with the birth family, energy for late nights and new routines. This is truly a way to serve, the rewards from doing Foster Care might take a long time to be clear, be patient and humble on the walk. I have to remind myself of this advice often!</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Supporting those who provide Foster Care is a great thing to do if it isn't a good fit to be providers yourselves! We have had friends offer hand me downs, this is a real need especially for younger children. Families get a clothing allowance but even with a thrifty mind set, kids need a lot of stuff! When a Foster child leaves the hope is to set them up well for the next placement or for going home. I was able to send clothing in the next two sizes, winter gear, favorite toys and more, tubs of things! So please don't expect things back if you give to a family serving in this way. Also somethings might end up in a garage sale or given to another family, it is a quilt to make finances work providing for extra kids. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">A new placement can happen in hours, if a police removal happens or a last minute call, families have very little time to be ready. Meals are heavenly and such a kind way to support a busy family. We had one of our Grandmas run out for formula and diapers as well, a grocery run for basics is a fabulous way to help.</span></span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Your time is such a gift. We had a friend go get finger printed so she could be a child care option. The state needs to have clearance for those helping with Foster Kids for more than a set amount of time. Another mom helped for a few hours here and there, giving us time to run an errand or tidy up. As we talk more to Foster Care providers it is clear, the support these families receive from their neighborhood, church and family keeps their engines running even on steep climbs and tricky turns.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Prayers and basic kindness, are such a support to Foster families. Sending notes, checking in, praying for the kids in our care, our other children, these are such supports. I spoke with one family who said a Sunday school class prayed for Foster Children for an entire month, the kids really focused on the prayer, that family felt like others in their community were aware and supportive. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">To get involved each county (if you google the county you live in) has a home page, from the county homepage search for Foster Care Training. This will get you to step one, an info session. It might take me a few days but I will respond to questions, and yes you can share my info with those discerning this calling. I can't promise you will end up with a new born, or a sibling group that fits into your family, but I do know the need is always there. If you jump in and start serving in this way, what is meant to be will find a way to reach you. </span><br />
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-7542474858677520012016-11-15T19:36:00.001-08:002016-11-15T19:55:42.754-08:00Marriage Kids Tell All<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As part of a group from our church I am part of leading a discussion on marriage. Trying to get ideas I decided to interview the kids. It was interesting, and sometimes funny, to hear their take on Dad and Mom. The baby did not participate, but everyone else got in on giving their thoughts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">L~ Age</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 5 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dad and Mom tell us to be aware of our decisions. They are aware of their decisions. Sometimes they kiss on the lips, thats a marriage thing, their decision people!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">D ~ Age 9 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>When things get hard you guys take a deep breath and turn to Faith. Dad and Mom put God first and it is bigger than any hard things. Hard things happen and I think Mom wants to talk, and Dad wants to do things. Lots of times they make a plan together, I think that is part of marriage.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">M ~Age 11</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>If we get in trouble Dad and Mom always talk first, then they are on the same side. It can be frustrating, but it is better. Whatever one decides is the right consequence the other one supports them. They never argue about how to handle things.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">N ~ Age 12</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Church comes first, Sundays always are a restart day. They taught us when we were little it is the day to check in with God and let worries go. In their marriage, they let Sunday be a fresh start. I want to do that too. They do not have the same sense of humor, but some of us kids are like mom, and some of us kids are like Dad, so maybe all of us help them have a good marriage. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">M~ Age 13</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dad compliments mom, a lot. Like a lot. He never goes a day with out saying she is pretty or a meal was awesome. Sometimes it seems silly even like he will make us all stop and notice her, but I can tell it makes her feel good. Mom will remind us when Dad is not around how much he does for the family, like a sales pitch for Dad. But its important, I think, to support each other in front of the kids.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">J-L Age 14 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dad and Mom give each other really specific compliments, checking in with text, calling each other stuff like that. They communicate well. Mom also makes really good food, does that count? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A ~ Age 14 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #232323; letter-spacing: 0px;">Ephesians </span>5:25 <i><span style="color: black;">Husbands, love your wives,</span><span class="m_-2303683609110010361gmail-crossreference" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="color: black;"> just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">She just wanted to use a quote but I love the simplicity of the one she chose.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">J ~Age 16 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>On a basic level you guys have annoyingly big hearts, you always take things on but I think it makes you guys closer. You laugh about stuff that might make other people cry. One thing you guys do is take a lot of walks. Talk things out and walk so you don't talk about all the worry things in front of us kids. Sometimes Mom prays outloud. We do a lot as a family, but it seems to work. Me personally, I'll leave my kids at home and go on a cruise, but not you guys!</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij4ncuQoGpxxS6s57ctavwOgVUe2tHqJrD9MidLtANostDU84NfsmMUTDesbR4jxRWNOCwQaRHuH0KBjkMK17Pn2TxctTO78Qs99QGq-uN45urVKe2SL5jrTjOCH8x5m98TvcyLNlp7GQ/s1600/IMG_4040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij4ncuQoGpxxS6s57ctavwOgVUe2tHqJrD9MidLtANostDU84NfsmMUTDesbR4jxRWNOCwQaRHuH0KBjkMK17Pn2TxctTO78Qs99QGq-uN45urVKe2SL5jrTjOCH8x5m98TvcyLNlp7GQ/s320/IMG_4040.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Rare Date night! Not a cruise, we have only been aways for a <br />
day or two in 15 years of marriage, but the times we slip out we DO enjoy.</td></tr>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-79410149726278322052016-11-14T07:55:00.002-08:002016-11-14T07:55:58.405-08:00Fall Memories! Otis Family 2005 ~ 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-71800732520232248092016-11-09T07:56:00.003-08:002016-11-09T08:08:40.188-08:00Short Break from Social Media, Reality and Distraction.<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><b><i>Social media is an amazing tool, but it's really the face-to-face interaction that makes a long-term impact ~ </i>Felicia Day</b></span></span><br />
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To be real from the get go, I lasted 9 days.<br />
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That is not very long to deem experiment worthy.<br />
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I found in those 9 days I missed having the virtual connection, but I did much better with my real life connections.<br />
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The first two days I filled the void with similar things, I used Pinterest online. I read blogs about foster care and adoption, and I browsed online. Day three I skipped my online time in the morning and had coffee at the table with the kids as they filtered down. News flash time, it was a less stressful and a better morning.<br />
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Needing to get all the kids out the door, checking for clashing outfits (a real thing) asking about studying for tests and if homework was submitted, negotiating snack choices and last minute checks for fields trips can be exhausting. Hiding in social media while the kids swirl around me is not healthy, but it makes mornings seem less intense.<br />
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I would guess Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, are used by others, like me, to escape or coast. I found taking time to use social media was not all terrible, but overall it took away from my ability to be PRESENT with loved ones and friends.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><b><i>Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky ~</i>Brene Brown</b></span></span><br />
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That said, Facebook specifically can be a quilt of things, not just online gossip. I book marked BBC news, my local area page, garage sale sites, School pages and cooking ideas. I check in on a foster care and child welfare site I really enjoy. I find social media can be a fast way to get news and local information. <u>The trick is to use social media and not let it drain and deplete me.</u><br />
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Seeing parties, dinners or events can be painful. I realized much more often the reality is even if I were invited, something with one of the 9 children would likely come up. Unless things happen after bedtime and physically close by for a limited time, I am out, by choice and necessity.<br />
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Seeing celebrations makes me happy, and yet there is a disconnect. I feel no substance behind the image. Seeing a first birthday party photo, we do not see the funny moment the cake fell into the pasta salad or smell the amazing baklava someone made, we do not participate in any senses other than sight.<br />
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The experiment made me want to be better about seeing people, and accepting the reality of only being able to authentically grow so many friendships and connections. I feel badly for not seeing or liking people's moments. How many photos did I simply miss because they did not hit my news feed? <i>How can I be more present in reality for those friends or family members?</i><br />
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It also created great conversations with the kids, about how social media can effect us, how shutting off our phones for family time is a necessity. We talked about the ease of both complimenting and insulting someone online, and how nerve racking a real conversation can be.<br />
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Back to using social media, appreciating the ability to get information and news both global and personal. I feel a new mindfulness about the effect of online connection and want to find more and more ways to be present in community in<i> real space and time.</i><br />
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I have warm coffee in my hands, the smell of waffles mixed with oatmeal in the kitchen, noise machine purring on the stairs as the baby takes his morning nap. The sunlight is bright on a post election day morning, nation and world scrambling to find a type of unity and healing. Counters to clean, mountains of laundry to fold. I have a walk scheduled for later on, a playdate after school, church dinner tonight. I am worried about a list of things, it is real worry not to be pushed to the side.<br />
This moment is very quiet, no pop of noise or color, no commentary or reaction. It is where I am present, feeling the day without filter or distraction.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Senses ~ 3 years ago running into the freezing lake after a late fall Sauna in Ely</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><b><i>Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my strength and my Redeemer</i> ~ Psalms 19:14</b></span><br />
<br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-77904941327964383722016-10-27T07:25:00.001-07:002016-10-27T07:25:26.990-07:00Workers! Then and Now<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;">“The harder I work, the luckier I get.” </span><br style="font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;"><b>―Samuel Goldwyn </b></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where do you put the toddler when doing yard work? Dad thinks in a bucket!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brothers who work all day together..get along.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skilled work force.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">M is not sure of A's ability to wield the wheelbarrow.</td></tr>
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Working on a roof last week.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">J's moves from a house away</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Being called on to work takes many forms.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF2OJwrQmZe5CxAxyjuSHv-rZw6onfxzkKl4RWWd3LMHH2kdPbmHbXkb_X1Dk7_pxvzkZOQPMfw4sZ2fYkL5grogHSBhQmYzZHorIknuJIzfbSX3NktthFNDYOJqvhuCwYr3EgPsgRflw/s1600/unnamed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF2OJwrQmZe5CxAxyjuSHv-rZw6onfxzkKl4RWWd3LMHH2kdPbmHbXkb_X1Dk7_pxvzkZOQPMfw4sZ2fYkL5grogHSBhQmYzZHorIknuJIzfbSX3NktthFNDYOJqvhuCwYr3EgPsgRflw/s320/unnamed.jpg" width="269" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Planting trees and bushes in our yard. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRcity-_wgVErybkoRJQOLuvnBZlq963SEXeqqGGr5hzD8RnP5JtFDDyUUN0LtxhinqGxR1pndevl5HqhFjAlsZxayryif6aYT4OZiC0qLdnb3XUlgB3n7g96e6lLYYf_xCQikICJrti4/s1600/IMG_0645.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRcity-_wgVErybkoRJQOLuvnBZlq963SEXeqqGGr5hzD8RnP5JtFDDyUUN0LtxhinqGxR1pndevl5HqhFjAlsZxayryif6aYT4OZiC0qLdnb3XUlgB3n7g96e6lLYYf_xCQikICJrti4/s320/IMG_0645.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Flooring crew</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOy7ywQaxn5lNs_YlHG6wk69hjtUfdYrdab-W0F7VVJ25BT9KXjo6pIT0KIkmid0FwpUttuIeNq7uU9cT6BC-GSxZAj0-wq64bMUfJzGDMMpRC5VOVqaoMoG9dM5t2xleSw8Nr0GtKxX8/s1600/IMG_0640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOy7ywQaxn5lNs_YlHG6wk69hjtUfdYrdab-W0F7VVJ25BT9KXjo6pIT0KIkmid0FwpUttuIeNq7uU9cT6BC-GSxZAj0-wq64bMUfJzGDMMpRC5VOVqaoMoG9dM5t2xleSw8Nr0GtKxX8/s320/IMG_0640.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">N scraping up a tile, long and messy job</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi12kwj0X-IrE5ILmgPbqlHxqm94GCwbqYrehW4PckNwebn3U6gs0MiIaON-yoVU1RgEIQNJ-J4YRXrTSChe89KC0D-t_x6LPUObp0SDKkDnrHvXMMvJczzg3eoz7nf3fWArcG6iWpmuOQ/s1600/P4130046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi12kwj0X-IrE5ILmgPbqlHxqm94GCwbqYrehW4PckNwebn3U6gs0MiIaON-yoVU1RgEIQNJ-J4YRXrTSChe89KC0D-t_x6LPUObp0SDKkDnrHvXMMvJczzg3eoz7nf3fWArcG6iWpmuOQ/s320/P4130046.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Kitchen chores start at age 7 or 8, sometimes some reaching help happens, <br />but we have step ladders to make independent workers.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinrOIMUQHAPZKGdojJBnP4nxRL5rR7yHRw43LDSj0CvJGqTDcijFjH4qv_EswuIJDSOtEbDqgkHP-jJP6zg4xHjCJVTPd9mm5gLxkSbUhswbATdj-RbzdaLJNLWPvcIY7heeW8R0UGEgY/s1600/P4130047.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinrOIMUQHAPZKGdojJBnP4nxRL5rR7yHRw43LDSj0CvJGqTDcijFjH4qv_EswuIJDSOtEbDqgkHP-jJP6zg4xHjCJVTPd9mm5gLxkSbUhswbATdj-RbzdaLJNLWPvcIY7heeW8R0UGEgY/s320/P4130047.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Washing walls! Lots of hands, kids do a rotation in each house we have been in or warm water with<br />Vinegar, drop of dish soap and wash clothes to wash.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDUi2buikU4F4a2YrTZWb8gvaFHzVO24c5p-jmyRD67CyBv9tNYVPZ6zsqYIylWP78WmUcfvz5rv5813fdgXwbDn_XCwFzzIS8mn0CADMFL1J27exbRI6X7HiZWKSsWFp3H-ytVBkf-k/s1600/IMG_6679.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDUi2buikU4F4a2YrTZWb8gvaFHzVO24c5p-jmyRD67CyBv9tNYVPZ6zsqYIylWP78WmUcfvz5rv5813fdgXwbDn_XCwFzzIS8mn0CADMFL1J27exbRI6X7HiZWKSsWFp3H-ytVBkf-k/s320/IMG_6679.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mopping is a great job for littles.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwg-4-WiwLqYimyn303l2qtTjca52mXtA9dstTXeuKAbEmeRWU8Teetiwc98Dusrqi9q-c1GGvUbBNVI-U_m1LCRnK9OQVR8anqLTH4TOBzgg8lYUi0KxkAdPg1H9jbb5xGKwNj2zoA4/s1600/P1010008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwg-4-WiwLqYimyn303l2qtTjca52mXtA9dstTXeuKAbEmeRWU8Teetiwc98Dusrqi9q-c1GGvUbBNVI-U_m1LCRnK9OQVR8anqLTH4TOBzgg8lYUi0KxkAdPg1H9jbb5xGKwNj2zoA4/s1600/P1010008.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Helping cook, working on doing more of this. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzAYIORMSbXxZLwbk15dPDhUZRIuVA6BEp3FKtpFxn6S2KYCPtEt7XcDd6XRsNPAnLzLJnfeV9HmxJXbomhfm-u3NPTAE8j_QwQrEbm_JiDdLWD903XHBs-teLYOn7ybI9wi9t9v-VwT0/s1600/PA060061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzAYIORMSbXxZLwbk15dPDhUZRIuVA6BEp3FKtpFxn6S2KYCPtEt7XcDd6XRsNPAnLzLJnfeV9HmxJXbomhfm-u3NPTAE8j_QwQrEbm_JiDdLWD903XHBs-teLYOn7ybI9wi9t9v-VwT0/s320/PA060061.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leaves! Fun work.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0Zi8JL6u7JkzNiCLRo3EtpfJ2JxKO1vgGhWZs2tUVu6ioZMjDWpfzQkxXZc8eyFANVcQJu0ZT3JIhdt8DgwwLaV1HE-RtTUPgxrtZ2k9YZ9FZEbTF6mz6vmu4VbkQrDDAyay7qvZwrU/s1600/PA010016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0Zi8JL6u7JkzNiCLRo3EtpfJ2JxKO1vgGhWZs2tUVu6ioZMjDWpfzQkxXZc8eyFANVcQJu0ZT3JIhdt8DgwwLaV1HE-RtTUPgxrtZ2k9YZ9FZEbTF6mz6vmu4VbkQrDDAyay7qvZwrU/s320/PA010016.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Short crew.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJp1qRBlvlrDGTNInMDtaa-QCH9cMVBuAaeejf12s7z9O4-XC0A0Wj2C3xsB0P4bJ0t7lz6NMOQXRLjq6P4mfSEty_0SvD2Iy2zsix69xvaykfkdvJl4ySAx5AK8dpDpbCzA8eTPuUaLY/s1600/PA120004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJp1qRBlvlrDGTNInMDtaa-QCH9cMVBuAaeejf12s7z9O4-XC0A0Wj2C3xsB0P4bJ0t7lz6NMOQXRLjq6P4mfSEty_0SvD2Iy2zsix69xvaykfkdvJl4ySAx5AK8dpDpbCzA8eTPuUaLY/s320/PA120004.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Starting when it's an honor and big deal makes older kids great at jobs.</td></tr>
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<br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-75854595024254577322016-10-23T13:04:00.001-07:002016-10-23T19:57:25.700-07:00Vulnerability and Educational Moments...In the Grocery Store!<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I had an aquatience last week remind me I had a lot of children, and said she was hesitant to celebrate our family because it seemed like <i>too much</i>. This was a chance run in on friday. For those of you who know me, know how much I struggle with that assessment. Girls with eating disorders often say: "I feel like too much" kids who have behavioral problems know people say they are "too much" and big families are often seen as really neat from a distance but <i>too much</i>. First, everyone has their own too much threshold. It is ok that my passion is not yours! Spending all day making Kombucha like one of my fiends is too much for me, or singing in a show, but I am able to celebrate this difference without judging this difference. Welcoming children into our home with a 100% chance of heartbreak (sadness over them leaving or sadness someone I love is loosing a birth parent) is not for everyone! My response to negativity is very often to retreat, get off social media, try to make myself and our mission somehow quiet, or smaller. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white;">Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but </span><span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourself;</span></i><span style="background-color: white;"><i> do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others</i>. </span><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">–</em><span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Philippians 2:3-4</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Retreating and feeling hurt does nothing to promote foster care, or explain why it is worth it to be "too much" in this way. Feeling sorry for myself is selfish, it really is. <i>It reminded me how often I wish I had a rewind button to call on humor when I am offended</i>. A friend has adopted two beautiful girls from China, she told us of being stopped in the grocery store and being asked if they were REAL siblings. Her response was "Well they fight in the back seat of the car, does that count?" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I loved her spunk and humor, especially because the girls were watching her respond. Watching her deflect and claim them at the same time. Often an adoption or foster care question is not ill intentioned! And with age and experience my ability to lean into Grace has evolved tremendously. When I was asked at the wading pool years ago why "that one" pointing at one of my sons, looked middle eastern, my response was "Oh my handsome son right here?" He was listening, big beautiful brown eyes wide with confusion. I lost all other ability to respond and have been coming up with zingers I've never used, ever since! That said, anger does not serve me as a mother, or serve my children to witness as a response. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></em>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had a chance to talk this latest encounter over with the three oldest boys, man they are pretty neat guys! One of them reminded me our family had weekly prayer and meeting, we were connected and running more smoothly than ever. Another mentioned that our "too much" creates more time for us together and is a way we can serve in our home not being able to take a service trip or do things we might be able to as a smaller family. The last son asked why on earth I cared what anyone else thought? And it's not the son you would expect! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">In conclusion, keep talking, keep modeling love and humility. When I turn to quiet contemplation, this weekend time by the fire at the cabin, time in prayer and time talking to my husband and children, I find my self calm and gracious. If I respond without taking time for these things I am a hot head and not my best self. Humility can be painful! If hard things come up use humor, use Grace and forgiveness. What is your "too much" and how have you found ways to share your passion? <i>I hope we can guide and nurture our children so they never, ever despair that they are too much, but rather fearfully and wonderfully made. </i></span></span><br />
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<br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-12601599152982696332016-10-05T17:18:00.001-07:002016-10-05T17:21:40.603-07:00Peace Without The Perfect Moment<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; text-align: center;">“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.” </span></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; text-align: center;">~ John F. Kennedy</span></b></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I woke at 4 am because the baby is in a growth spurt and wanted to eat. I find as a mother the middle of the night is when my worry is sharpened into blades that cut through other thoughts. I thought about tests to be re-done, playground fears that I couldn't help with and team dynamics. I went child by child landing especially on our foster daughter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After baby boy was back in his crib I stayed awake to watch the sun rise. I thought about peace, feeling grateful for the sun bringing a wash of relief over me. A reminder that simply, <u>the night ends and sun shines</u>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><span class="verse-15" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">~ Colossians 3:15 </span></h1>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fresh air and sharing a swing. Thankful for siblings.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-15" style="box-sizing: border-box;">We said good bye yesterday to our foster daughter and know it was what was best. We loved her for almost a year. Letting God take the reins as we pray for health, healing and a bright future. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-15" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Today I imagined living on a farm, I used to have that as a goal growing up. Many cosmopolitan adventures left me daydreaming about wide open spaces. That daydream is about peace. The idea of SPACE being air, being refreshing for the soul and being a tangible way to desire less worry.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” ~ Pericles</b></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunrise nursing baby Lu in the tent, a moment of peace in the <br />
midst of a busy campground. All of us in the 10 person tent.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As this day that started very early winds to a close I am heartened by the encounters I have had, time to pray with other women, time for tea, time for work and chores. Peace I am seeking requires some work. Sometimes in a big family rooms need to be shifted, the barriers and structures can be physical walls or mental blocks. As we move forward into days of less sunshine I am committed to seeking peace. I am committed to finding wide open space in my day, moments that allow me to have quiet in my heart to hear what my children tell me, to listen to the way I am being lead and to be rejuvenated right where I am.</span></div>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-56360778613009724192016-09-21T17:41:00.001-07:002020-05-27T08:39:44.563-07:00Here Comes Fall With Ten Kids, Watch Out! ~ A Day Of Photos ~<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say, is a perfect individual, able to control the entire body as well </i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">James 3:2</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Fall came in like waterfall after a dry spell in August. Done with siblings, car trip joys waning in the heat, itchy mosquito bites and too many hot dogs. The lament of the midwestern kid. Ready for school. The water starts pouring, new football schedules, permission slips, syllabi to sign for credit, new locker combinations, High school and being marked off for run on sentences...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Ten children all marching to their own tune. Those marches all require sustenance, clean clothes and rides. </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Meeting everyone's needs, feeling like an individual in the mass, and maintaining positive energy for our kids, foster kids and the community. For a bit of perspective a friend recommended a snap shot diary of a day in the life as a mom of 10, here goes...</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ36J_H15hz_tPASE7jjbUlrdaJznqoa7oFrUGa5dweVd6Th1WtvOakBe3MMx3bSP8G3GeuY3iOvWxQcQCGBuPKOLYT5VD6XQJ7FZUCIgAOJn5zH4AlcHh4ZljesLbojP6JFkr3Vcc35c/s1600/IMG_4174.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ36J_H15hz_tPASE7jjbUlrdaJznqoa7oFrUGa5dweVd6Th1WtvOakBe3MMx3bSP8G3GeuY3iOvWxQcQCGBuPKOLYT5VD6XQJ7FZUCIgAOJn5zH4AlcHh4ZljesLbojP6JFkr3Vcc35c/s400/IMG_4174.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Day starts with a very full mudroom. This week we have picture day, the Kindergarden student wearing colors specific to the day and birth family visits for the toddler. Clothes to find, and choose. Bows to match.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL2iA4BhQ3hEOSfxbreNfIoWbCy1oPbL8Yod6noN46fox5zWl13B5C1-RrfF1FCy9Nn90vroILAMCTyDQRz4ei_6WqYarQ4SlJ6yeVqKq0sGJZ6jlbQ3d128J0GU-I3ySbAyLUJoCDfac/s1600/IMG_4178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL2iA4BhQ3hEOSfxbreNfIoWbCy1oPbL8Yod6noN46fox5zWl13B5C1-RrfF1FCy9Nn90vroILAMCTyDQRz4ei_6WqYarQ4SlJ6yeVqKq0sGJZ6jlbQ3d128J0GU-I3ySbAyLUJoCDfac/s320/IMG_4178.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">She does not walk to the bus with these guys, but glad kids walk in pairs. No time for breakfast today. Most don't use alarms so it is everyone waking up together. Then finding socks, if mom is frying eggs standing as close as possible to get the egg, finding bread that shouldn't be where it is. We ran out of jam, Jalapeño jelly was not a hit. Left over Lasagna was the majority choice. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One missed bus, 3 schools, 8 students it happens often. Mama and baby caught in the rain. He loved the sound on the van. It made me smile. Baby girl had part of a lemon bar in the car and was silent, knowing Mama made a mistake with this amazing treat before protein. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">NAP ONE! Quick time for Doctor scheduling, made the new wave of dental appointments the 12 of us over three days. Clinic was accommodating. I took notes and pushed the Little People school bus button with my toe for baby girl. I think I pushed in 2 million times on hold and scheduling. Then on to calling if weighted blankets are covered by insurance. Baby girl managed to get in the vase cabinet, crash, she was fine but clean up and yup, crash woke baby up to get him!</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">I barter with myself for downtime, unload and load, four loads washed, dried and folded (not sorted) then sit for some reading or Bible time if babies are amenable. At Church we are studying James, I choose this chapter of James and this verse stood out for me. The humility of imperfection gives breath to try harder each day. I need to find more pockets of down time. Many days I meet a friend, or friends, to walk. 3 miles of movement a day is typical, it is a way to schedule mental health and makes me connect, always a highlight in my day. </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cLVShBjFTDN1kbJSsTz3zMbhqMJxi8Li-hWg8KTafe5Oc6CXUu6Xz3CFTBN13vzQX4MyZ1BMt-ZrIiZGsr3CI2QyLT_ttKIj1Y6zX_lAfJAo5oY2k_sbIMdSpakPJ7PrEa6i5p3yND8/s1600/IMG_4185.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cLVShBjFTDN1kbJSsTz3zMbhqMJxi8Li-hWg8KTafe5Oc6CXUu6Xz3CFTBN13vzQX4MyZ1BMt-ZrIiZGsr3CI2QyLT_ttKIj1Y6zX_lAfJAo5oY2k_sbIMdSpakPJ7PrEa6i5p3yND8/s320/IMG_4185.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">NAP TWO! Both babies nap, I package up some eBay sales and respond to questions. I try to sell last season's basketball shoes in great shape, things I am done using and sometimes a great thrift store find. I have not had anytime over the summer but the tradition in the last ten years is the sales from eBay or consignment go into Pay-pall and fund the kids sports programs. Having a big family can make it hard for kids to do camps, sports and so on. We feel like it was a choice to have these kids, anything we can do to give them every opportunity, we will! Finding thrifty deals or selling what we are not using is green, and helps keep these kids on the courts and fields!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvykyxTPRzEvGDILfq-KyM6PKrVZ7P7aLn6EqaAhbuYXmin0qSYmwWECG5UQtm3vgY1zc8UvUL9e0ArHjFwxKsgcWazAOK4whwT2vyusFIlnTgKNJjNo6kTK_0MybH6CDJAsxzndLFRas/s1600/IMG_4170.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvykyxTPRzEvGDILfq-KyM6PKrVZ7P7aLn6EqaAhbuYXmin0qSYmwWECG5UQtm3vgY1zc8UvUL9e0ArHjFwxKsgcWazAOK4whwT2vyusFIlnTgKNJjNo6kTK_0MybH6CDJAsxzndLFRas/s320/IMG_4170.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Having promised to bake I had things set to go when kids got off the school bus, we made two blueberry pies with crumb crust. I use tapioca for fruit pies and butter. For the crust I use apple juice 1/3 part of the water. I always have a snack out for the kids and we try to dive right into homework. This is a difficult time of the day getting to everyone and then the 5 older kids start coming home after 5, hungry and with their own homework. I find I am ON non-stop from 3 to 9 pm, usually not sitting down.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGCgGAeKKcUdKWZjMNr_JW7MefDj_FtAIpqYQM34H7ke4WQ9DFz1IdcSFrfF9gAge-thX7oW1ZzgwjNS-qcO0aHRwSXv4ZvW9AhyI9HTFuftK-B4ERAwKjELtksNj5iZRXJ85a3_Kpg-Q/s1600/IMG_4179.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGCgGAeKKcUdKWZjMNr_JW7MefDj_FtAIpqYQM34H7ke4WQ9DFz1IdcSFrfF9gAge-thX7oW1ZzgwjNS-qcO0aHRwSXv4ZvW9AhyI9HTFuftK-B4ERAwKjELtksNj5iZRXJ85a3_Kpg-Q/s400/IMG_4179.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Getting football gear ready, 3 high school kids play sports right after school, 2 Jr high as well then the three younger all on teams. Keeping sports gear relatively clean and sorted is a big job. We use garage hooks. We also hang a built an board for each child IN THE GARAGE on the wall for individual sports schedules. Sports are 6 days a week on average 6 kids in activities per day with older kids being in daily programming. Upside, the older they get the more transportation seems to be available. Ride help is always such a gift for the family. DOORBELL! It's Mr R to pick up for football! The player ate early because he was picked up at 5 and dinner will not be on the table until 6.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWhKLvIHGhJoksbq-w70NNXXmVVfcSPAYPAgrKBLf0eD4ID1Jd_lADUFWeJFpfvvm95rlOu0VgVjoK4wVvlMwVY0o8rJz1QjiA7OIm4meNdxrAYPJO-qNOQx22LoZBAu_rcst8e0UCsZg/s1600/IMG_6977.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWhKLvIHGhJoksbq-w70NNXXmVVfcSPAYPAgrKBLf0eD4ID1Jd_lADUFWeJFpfvvm95rlOu0VgVjoK4wVvlMwVY0o8rJz1QjiA7OIm4meNdxrAYPJO-qNOQx22LoZBAu_rcst8e0UCsZg/s320/IMG_6977.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">As kids focus on homework and some practice, I sorted our upper red bins for season, I keep football, soccer and baseball socks sorted as well as rain gear and string bags in these bins. Things when you need them you need them ASAP, but are not underfoot.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Dinner! I made a bunch of lasagna's, Chili, cakes, baked chicken and tater tot casserole (an odd but family favorite)Lasagna served as breakfast for many so I pulled out a shrimp/broccoli cream base and added it to cooked rice. 80% of the kids really liked it, the others had buttered noodles and apple squeezes. </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">What good sisters! The rain did not keep away the cheering section. Cold, not their sport, but they did it, we laughed about it and got home drenched.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After dinner and game, mom and dad snuck out for a 3 mile walk. We actually got turned around and did a jog through the very dark woods. 6miles later we came home, self sufficiency had waned and kids needed focus to get ready for bed. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Time for bed, melting down. Mama up rocking babies checking in with older boys. Difficulty with the oldest boys clashing,fighting and needed mom to be a sounding board. Praying for discernment and guidance to help them. Younger ones watching the faith and family show about the Bates Family, sweet show, funny moments. Perfect timing for some blueberry pie, milk, tea, prayers and BED. In the summer we read Proverbs or Psalms for the day of the month, searching for new habits to weave scripture into daily life. I'd love ideas. Mom and Dad catch up on chores, work and talking to the older kids, bedtimes roll from 8pm to 9pm to 11pm to last...mom and Dad midnight.</span></td></tr>
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<br />Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-55737650805606651092016-05-19T07:04:00.001-07:002016-05-19T07:07:09.452-07:00The Importance of Making Space for QuietI always bristle when someone comments my life, or our home must be chaotic. I think they are saying it will be messy, unruly or somehow lacking peace.<br />
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I think the intent is amazement and tiny bit dis belief. The idea of putting yourself with 10 kids who are not your own is not a calm image, I get that!<br />
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I have worked very hard to create space, create chore expectations, create rhythms that allow for calm. The nights that are explosive with events, energy and need throw off the balance for sure. But overall this house of 12 does make room for the quiet.<br />
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It took me a long time to understand I am an extroverted introvert. I love my kids around me, but I desperately need everyone to be quiet and read a book, immediately! My favorite days are when everyone is engaged in a project, a book or coloring but silently sharing space. It does happen!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We use "active breaks" for L. Rather than sitting for a time out, she is a high spirited child! We have her do something genuinely useful but that uses her body, or run the stairs on a timer. It allows for her brain to clear, get some breath and re start calmly.</td></tr>
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Less stuff overall helps with creating a sense of calm. Clutter stresses me out, sunshine, open floor space is always soothing. My kids complain we have less toys than other families (it is true) and that their friends have bedrooms that are FUN. We have bedrooms that are usually pretty tidy, quilts, stacks of books and coloring things, some stuffed animals and a bin of toys, that is it. And of course a sibling or three to share your room. We play outside, every day. We use the big kitchen space together for homework, for prayer, for spending time together. We don't encourage endless hours in bedrooms, doesn't seem to lead to calm energy, it leads to angst and anxiety.<br />
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Being introverted together, being stubborn about wanting things clean and having less things, insisting on regular chores and individual responsibility creates a peaceful atmosphere. Of course there are nights, like last night, that remind me why we try to take on less! Remind me I need to make peace and down time together a priority even if it means swimming against the tide.<br />
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For now I am going to read my devotional, put some laundry on the line and wash my floors. A precious moment with 8 at school and two sleeping is very rare...and peaceful!Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-56160538148384243612016-05-16T11:49:00.001-07:002016-05-19T06:52:54.353-07:00Weeping, Laughter and Grace<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Ecclesiastes 3 1-8</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What a beautiful verse this is. Although I know we cannot choose our moments I have spent countless hours trying to! It is impossible to know when healing comes as much as you wish for it. The times I fall apart as a mother are not when I expect. Those small tipping points that in retrospect seem vivid, are in the moment painful and unexpected. This verse is a reminder of the importance to be holistic, the importance to allow for the dark and the light to be included in our walk with prayer and life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I weep not knowing if this sweet foster baby will stay in my arms, not because he is mine or because I am a better mother, but because I love him. I weep because limbo for babies is life changing and it is my job to advocate without knowing all the facts. I weep because some days I am bone tired and need to make sure ten children feel loved wholly and completely. I weep because I want to do things perfectly and somedays I don't get even close. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I laugh at those hilarious first steps a toddler takes. I laugh at those first crooked smiles. I laugh at my husband in his tough work clothes accepting a tiny cup of imaginary tea. I laugh at my teenagers ribbing each other in a way that only siblings can; the sweetness of family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I am finding I need to make time to laugh, set work down to embrace the biggest and the littlest children, make time to be ok with some weeping and amen to casting away stones. The beauty of living knee deep in imperfection is Grace with a capital G. Thank you God for mess, truly it is in the clean up I see the details. Imperfection that leads to laughter, the beauty of a full, well loved life.</span></div>
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Otissidekicks.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03080134636203944818noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814734540096865116.post-71715806436641302632016-03-23T10:21:00.002-07:002016-04-26T13:07:16.747-07:00And that Makes a Dozen!This morning we picked a new baby up from the hospital. I had to wait in a side office while birth mom said goodbye to the little man. He weighs 7 pounds 2oz and carried such a heavy load of sorrow and love in his tiny life span.<br />
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After I received the call, I finished walking home with a friend. Of the 4 possible placement calls we have received, Sheff has gotten the call first on the two that have come to our home. And all four calls I have received have been while walking with the same friend at almost the same rotation on a loop in the woods. Perhaps God's sense of humor? The cocoon of the woods, a womb separating me from other needs of the world, and of the other children perhaps.<br />
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So yesterday we had court for our foster baby girl who is almost 14 months and we accepted a new born boy. We do not know his full story yet, his mother is young, another child already placed in an adoptive home--we would be open to him being forever one of our gang, but we start with loving him fully while we wait. His mother's pain is not to be discounted or washed away.<br />
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As I think of the quietness of the woods, of choices people make when they are lonely or scared, I think of how I can be a source of healing. His mother has made his start difficult in some ways, and the state had no choice but to get him somewhere safe. Our job is to be respectful but also to celebrate. It is OK to rejoice that he is with us. It is OK for the children to run home off the bus excited to meet this little roommate. It is OK to say he is lucky, he is! He is here, he made it out of his own woods. He will be loved and cherished as we are his family......for now.<br />
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